HERZING LUV

Date Night 1-14-12

2012-01-16T21:46:00.000-08:00

I did the best I could. I showered. I dried my hair and wore it down. I put on a new sweater and nice boots. Dan thought I looked great. He said my hair was shiny and pretty. :)

It's only been 5 months since we spent an evening alone together. No big deal, right? Sheesh. I suddenly realized how badly I needed time with my hubby that didn't involve thinking of him as .....My Roommate. I needed some sparks, please. Some holding hands. And also, eating at the same time. Warm food. Talking without being interrupted. So simple.

We dropped off Raine at Matt & Gayle's and went out to dinner! Just me and him. We went to our favorite place in town, Sawatdee. I had Pad Thai (Thin rice noodles stir-fried with chicken, eggs, bean sprouts, green onions, and crushed peanuts with lime for drizzle.)

Dan had Lana's Favorite (Thin rice noodles with pork, red onions, and bean sprouts in Thai yellow curry, topped with crushed peanuts, and lemon to drizzle. And if you are Dan, a crap load of chili paste.)

Our super cute baby and how super cute he is totally found its way into the conversation.

After dinner, we tried a frozen yogurt place. It's the kind of yogurt place where you make whatever you want with your yogurt cup and they charge you by the ounce. There were gummy worms, waffle pieces, hot caramel, bacon bits. You get the idea. I would never, ever NORMALLY sit down to eat five Oreos and seven mini Reese's peanut butter cups. But I did at that yogurt place. Oh yes, I did.

I think the goal for our next date night is to increase the amount of time (this date was three hours). And try to look a little less tired than we did. :) Maybe watch a movie because we just recently rented Moneyball (awesome!) and it nearly took us three days to watch the whole thing!

Herzing 3

2012-01-09T17:50:00.001-08:00

Look at our little nugget! I can't believe he will be 5 months old Wednesday! Wow!

Well, we have been busy as bees and having lots of fun...! I have so much to catch up on this blog but I have been trying to get my photos in order to make that easier. I am back to putting photos on Flickr and this is the most recent photo of the three of us, taken this weekend while Sarah visited from Denver! OH THE FUN THAT WE HAD! :) I promise I will write more soon. I have updates on holidays, food, baby life, Josh and Jess visiting and Sarah's visit. We are also going to redesign herzing luv soon and make it a little bit prettier! Yea!

xoxo,
Leah

Huevos Rancheros

2012-01-03T17:43:00.001-08:00

Huevos Rancheros

Classic Mexican (breakfast) dish. Fried eggs served upon lightly fried corn tortillas topped with a tomato-chili sauce, with refried beans and guacamole.

This sort of thing is right up Dan's alley, and his plate probably had a ton of hot sauce on it, too. However it was all a little too mushy for me...And for some reason I was spooked by the egg. It just seemed weird to have an egg where beans or meat should be! LOL.

Super yummy though! Do you like it?

It's All Football Up In Herzing Luv

2012-01-02T21:54:00.001-08:00

While I haven't been organized, healthy, or motivated to post about our holiday goodness and luv, I can say quickly that there has been a lot of football watching going on over the holidays. Bears lost on Christmas day but won their final game of the season on New Years Day. With Cutler and Forte out and the Hanie project so unsuccessful, we weren't expecting to make it to the playoffs, but still it is a bummer that the season has ended. Oh well. We have next year! Right!?

And today we watched the Oregon Ducks win the Rose Bowl! Woo-hoo!

Raine sporting his new bib from friends, Peter & Angela

It has been a fun football season for Dan to share with his new little buddy....And many thanks to my sis and her family for sending us all brand new Bears swag for Christmas. It is much more difficult to come by in the Pacific Northwest! :)

On Tap Tonight at Herzing Luv

2011-12-30T21:47:00.000-08:00

Renewale 2012, seasonal porter by Ninkasi Brewing Company.

Fab. U. Lous.

Happy New Year!

The Nef and Lil Sis: Holiday 2011

2011-12-30T21:32:00.000-08:00

Remember how super cute they were last year when they glammed up? This year it is out of control. I mean, shut. the. front. door. Rachel! OMG. That dress on Lexi?! And Logan with the hat!? Ha ha. I LUV IT.

(And I need to get better about sharing photos of them on here because the last time was probably over 6 months ago and they are growing so super quick! I can't wait to give them big hugs next month!)

Congratulations to Doug and Rita!

2011-12-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

James David Herzing

December 22, 2011
11:37 a.m.
8lbs 13oz
22 inches

We've got ourselves another Nef! And how cool is it that Dan's son and his brother's son are only a few months apart? Oh, the fun they will have together! We can't wait to meet this little guy when we visit Illinois next month! He sure is supes cute.

On Tap Tonight At Herzing Luv

2011-12-23T16:44:00.001-08:00

Winter Solstice seasonal ale by Anderson Valley Brewing

Duds & Threads: Vintage Meets Asian Meets Native American, Sans Pants

2011-12-19T20:52:00.001-08:00

Kimono one piece by Lucky Wang, mommy’s stockpile (Also Global Enfant)

Moccasins by Trimfoot Company, Macy’s

Supes cute baby by Dan & Leah, special order

The Wedding I Missed!

2011-12-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

I hope Allyson and Marc don't mind that I share some of their photos from their wedding...! (Hi Guys!) I looked at all 500+ of them this weekend on their online album, and it was hands down the most beautiful, intimate, lovely, gorgeous, sweet wedding I have ever seen! I am so sad that I wasn't there! {Baby Raine was only 6 weeks old at the time and I was a new freaked-out first-time mama, so I was overwhelmed at the thought of traveling.}The photography was by Calynn Berry Photography, who I am sure Allyson would highly recommend if you are in the Detroit region. I told Allyson that these photos and the details of their wedding belong in Martha Stewart's Weddings. And looking at all of the photos made me wish I could get married all over again (yes, to Dan, again, of course!) ;-) and I would totally copy Ally and Marc's wedding! LOL.

Some Advice

2011-12-16T15:39:00.001-08:00

If you missed your best friend's wedding, do NOT view her wedding photography album online WHILE you are at work. Because you WILL cry. You will cry by the third photo, and it will only get WORSE and you will have to STOP altogether by photo 45 so you are not a red PUFFY faced weirdo when your coworkers talk to you. This is best done at HOME, preferably with a pint of delicious ICE CREAM, and an old album beside you with faded paper photos of YOU and HER when you were little girls.

xoxo,
Leah

My Name is Leah and I'm a Sugaraholic

2011-12-13T23:15:00.000-08:00

Raine slept tonight from six to ten o clock. He is usually awake in the evening and ready for bed by 9:00. We didn't want to wake him tonight though because he has been sick with thrush and croup. I think his little body needed the rest. We might pay a heavy price for this. A price called Up til 2 am. We shall see. I have Raine until 11:30 tomorrow morning so I don't have to worry about getting us up and out the door early. So right now he is fed and happy, sitting in daddy's lap playing. I was able to eat dinner, talk to my mom and sister, and take a shower without acting like I was trying to break a world record. I have also been trying to write a bit all evening.

So, yes, thrush. Thrush is annoying. To specify, it is a yeast infection of the mouth for Raine and he gives it to me on my breasts by nursing. And then I give it back to him, etc., etc. In my new parent support group at New Seasons, I met a mama who had chronic thrush with her daughter. It was the first meeting and I was a little distracted but I do remember hearing how gosh darn stubborn that bacteria seemed to be. She had tried everything her doctor and her husband (a naturopath) could think of. The only thing she had NOT done yet was change her diet. She was intimidated at trying to cut out yeast/gluten and sugar. After Raine was diagnosed and we started giving him Nystatin four times a day, I started investigating what I could do to help heal my breasts and prevent passing it back and forth with him. The most popular advice I came across was changing my diet. April had a friend who kicked thrush in four days by changing her diet in addition to treating her baby and using vinegar on her breasts after feedings. I have faithfully used vinegar but have not been able to let go of sugar. The past few months I have been so addicted to sweets it is disgusting. I justified my junkie behavior at first by eating oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with flax seeds and brewer's yeast to help support my milk production. I started with great self control and enjoyed 1 cookie a day. But before I knew it, 1 was not enough. And then there was ice cream, fruit, angel food cake, whipped cream, Starbucks drinks, twinkies, Halloween candy, donuts...You name it. This past weekend, Dan baked cookies and it was OUT OF CONTROL. I couldn't stop at 1 or 2 or 3. Or 4 or 5. Tonight, I TOOK COOKIES WITH ME IN THE SHOWER. I sound like an addict, right? So I shouldn't be surprised I can't kick thrush. I have just recently cut out dairy because I wanted to see if it helped reduce Raine's gas pain and spit up. I thought it would be hard but once I found a few substitutes, it is OK. I miss milk, yes. I enjoyed tall glasses of milk with my dinners, Starbucks drinks, and ice cream. It seemed to help me keep my blood sugar stable and gave me calcium. Now I'm taking a vitamin and drinking fortified juice and alternative milks. I think cutting out sugar on top of dairy would be shocking at first (you would be surprised how sugar is present in EVERYTHING...Even my vegetable soup I had for lunch. WTF.) ...but worth it in the end. I've just got to DO it, and I can't seem to motivate myself. Tonight when we checked Raine's mouth after his feeding and giving him his medicine, there were still several very large patches on the inside of both sides of his mouth. Ugh. He has been taking Nystatin for 11 days now! I think we will give it until the 2 week mark and then I'm going to try Primadophilus powder for him and I will absolutely change my diet. And you will have to listen to me explain how the heck I am doing it. Ha! I have also started taking two tablespoons of probiotic acidophilus, a goopy gross base of pre-digested milk solids with something like 20 billion organisms that are "good" bacteria to balance things out.

Any other suggestions???

xoxo,
Leah

Getting Ready for Christmas!

2011-12-06T17:40:00.001-08:00

Raine's baby tree is small enough to fit on our record player :) (Target)

Our wreath from Jim & Char. We luv the bow.

Raine's first big tree ornament: Sock monkey from Logan & Lexi

This year's holiday card! (Target)

Raine's first baby tree ornament: Snoopy & Woodstock 2011 (Hallmark)

Let the season begin! Right? Do you have your Christmas tree yet?

Us.

2011-12-05T17:31:00.001-08:00

This photo is my favorite from our family photo shoot with Christie Glynn Photography. I picked a different one for our holiday cards, though. My goal this week is to get them all mailed. How did I end up with a list of over 100? Oh yeah. We had a baby. And lots of people like our baby. :-)

xoxo,
Leah

Raine :: 3 Months

2011-12-03T20:39:00.001-08:00

I am so totally thrilled to share Raine's 3 month photos with you!!! They are so beautiful! He was a TOTAL rock star and happily put up with three outfit changes (mommy is crazy!) and some nudey-patuty posing for our photography session on November 20th with my wonderful friend, Christie, of Christie Glynn Photography.

Wearing a sweet little vintage romper that belonged to daddy! ;-)


Our session was in his nursery with Raine's peeps: the Ugly Dolls ;-)

Nude on his tummy, just like a baby photo we have of his daddy! ;-)

Raine's framed animal menagerie that daddy and I made for him!

Encouragement from mommy! :-) This outfit was for the Christmas card photo, so I'm not sharing pictures just yet!

Wearing a Tea Collection shirt & pants that were originally going to be his going home from the hospital outfit...And I guess the "1" on his chalkboard should be a "3." LOL. We thought we were going to do photos there each month but it only happened once. And I don't even know where that "1 Month" photo is!

Raine Meets Santa Claus

2011-12-01T11:47:00.001-08:00

Duds & Threads: The Chicago Pizza Onesie!

2011-12-01T11:41:00.000-08:00

This Dan's favorite. From Allyson, bought at a hip little Chicago boutique, I am sure...Might have been Psychobaby on North Damen...They have lots of onesies and tees. This one is 3-6 months but I accidentally shrank it when I washed it for the first time, so the arm and neck holes are too small now. We got it on him once and took a ton of pictures. :) I particularly love the way it accentuates his bulging belly. Sadly, it is not from pizza via breastmilk. I stopped eating pizza because I only like no cheese/sausage/green pepper/onion and that combo gives Raine a tummy ache.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-29T16:50:00.001-08:00

We spent our 2011 Thanksgiving with the Sherwood 7. :)

Of the eight years we have lived in Oregon, we have spent seven Thanksgivings with Matt and Gayle!

This year, a certain baby was the center of attention...

Yes, his little Naartjie one piece (a gift from one of Dan's clients) is super cute. But he HAD a very cute Thanksgiving outfit! Before we could get a picture of him in it, however, there was THE BLOW-OUT of all blow-outs. (For those of you who don't have a baby and don't know what a blow-out is, let me tell you. It is when they poop with such a great magnificent force, the poop shoots out of the diaper, up the baby's back.) The BLOW-OUT of all blow-outs happened on Dan's watch, and it went up Raine's back, around his neck, and down his arms. So there was no way to salvage the cute Thanksgiving outfit. I'll just tell you the brown onesie said "Gobble Gobble Gobble" and he had a turkey on the seat of his brown and white striped pants. Tres chic! Of course, I assumed that there would be a blow-out and therefore put him in a staging outfit, to be worn in case of an actual blow-out (usually they occur mid-morning) and then we would safely change him into the Thanksgiving outfit for the day. So during early morning errands and some video calls with family, Raine had a yellow onesie and ivory fluffy vest on (see below). Leave it to the blow-out gods, though, to teach me that I can plan but never be perfect. He blew out both outfits. :)

Our meal was fantastic. Gayle made a spiral cut crunchy glazed ham, two kinds of mashed potatoes, corn, and stuffing. Dan pitched in brown sugar glazed carrots and poppy seed brussel sprouts. In between football games, we ate our lovely meal together and each person went around the table and shared what they were thankful for...!

Garret was thankful for his house.

Emma was thankful for making the basketball team.

Hannah was thankful for our meal.

Abbie was thankful for her family.

Sarah was thankful for friends and family that helped her get through high school.

Matt was thankful for good friends like us and his family---some pretty cool kids!

Gayle was thankful for each of the kids and Matt.

I didn't share what I was thankful for because Raine was hungry and I had excused us to the other room so I could nurse him comfortably on the couch. It is probably for the best because I would have started crying. :) Like Dan, I am also thankful for Matt and Gayle and that they have opened their home to us year after year and let us share holidays together like family. (Watching the kids grow up has been incredible...Garret was only 5 when we moved here!? And now they are old enough to dote upon our own child and will watch him grow. Wild!) I am also thankful for our families in Illinois and their support and love; even though we are apart, I feel it with me all the time. I am thankful for my friends, who are spread across the country...but like my family, they are always close in my heart. I am looking forward to visits from many of them in the new year! We are kicking off 2012 with my dear Sarah!!! :)

Most of all, I am grateful for my husband. Dan has given me a world I couldn't imagine was possible at times. I have a beautiful and healthy son, a warm home with lots of blankets, and a cute cook in the kitchen! What more could I want? ;)

And if you are reading this, I'm thankful for you!

xoxo,

Leah

November Twenty-Third, Two Thousand Eleven

2011-11-16T21:34:00.001-08:00

Photos that I stole from Dan's phone!

{I started writing this post two weeks ago. I think I averaged 3 sentences/day. How do you guys find time to post? Oh my goodness. Even when I find a tiny bit of time...I just don't have the energy!}

I never loved this season more than I did this year. I don't know what it was but everything seemed brighter and more beautiful than ever before. (Maybe because I am in love.) We had an uncharacteristically large number of dry days here in Portland this fall, so I enjoyed the foliage longer than usual. I only had a few moments each day to observe it all-as I drove Raine to daycare and myself to work in the morning, and again in the afternoon when I visit him during my lunch break. Sherwood is hilly with generous views of surrounding towns and country. The red maples, ash trees, and dogwoods were bursting with color. By the time I left work at 6, it was completely dark. A week (or 2?) ago a storm came through and blew the majority of our leaves in the neighborhood to the ground. Our car was coated in pine needles the following day. I noticed them finding their way into Raine's car seat, my purse, and my shoes. It is raining buckets now and winter has definitely arrived.

The days are shorter but we still try to stay awake until 10 p.m., try to hold out for it, but all of our internal clocks are turning off at 9. Hobbes sits at his food dish and meows in confusion. Daylight savings means nothing to him and his night time appetite. Two of my favorite shows are on at 10 but I can never stay up to watch them! (Parenthood and Prime Suspect!) If you watch Parenthood then you will know why I identify with the Kristina character right now. She and her husband just had their 3rd child and I think the show is capturing some great moments where her postpartum character is overwhelmed, joyful, exhausted, or insecure. I have heard others say that this show makes them cry but I never cried until the episode last week when her husband tells her how beautiful and hot he thinks she is, after she spends an evening out for the first time since their baby was born. She isn't ready for his affection and she doesn't quite see herself as normal yet, but she is getting there and he is very patient. Now that I have returned to work and Raine is sleeping with me through the night, I am starting to feel normal again but it is a very slow and strange process. I feel like I'm fumbling in the dark for a light switch or my glasses. I'm reaching for it...Normalcy...I know it is there. It looks and feels a little different than it did before, but it's there. As these crispy, cool days go by I get a little bit more.

I have a routine now that I am back to work and it is good for me. Raine and I wake together, he nurses and then usually falls back asleep. I tuck him in bed and get dressed (an outfit determined the night before), brush my teeth, and take the pumped milk from the fridge and add it to his daycare bag. If he is still asleep, I try to do other things: Brush my hair, eat something, tidy up a mess left from the night before. Showers are best performed at night while Dan can occupy him. :) I change his diaper and dress him, let him talk to his Ugly Dolls. Then I sit him in his car seat while I quickly take Rocco outside. He is very good natured in the morning and doesn't mind waiting in his car seat. He will chit chat with his zebra that hangs from the car seat handle and chew on his blanky. Once Rocco is taken care of and I have final items packed, we drive to Tina's, about five minutes away. There, we are greeted greedily by little Carlie, his 3 year old BFF. She tells me where to put him and then promptly shows me to the door! LOL. She has no use for me! So I get a quick kiss in and steal one last look and then shuffle out the door she has wide open and waiting. It would be so much more difficult to leave him in the mornings if I didn't know I would be back in a few hours to feed him. In the first 3 weeks, I have only missed my afternoon time with him once, and that was because Dan and I had a MUCH needed lunch date. When I visit him in the afternoons, Raine is usually sleepy but eager to eat. And once he has had his milk, he is super happy. He will coo and grin, flashing his dimples. I make sure to take a photo for daddy. :) I already know now that my visits will be very hard to give up when I eventually wean Raine. But let's not think about that right now! LOL.

Ugly Talk!

Entertained by Hungry Caterpillar and Mr. Zebra

Our Little Buddy Bean!

And the evenings? Oh my goodness they are delicious. I get to come home to Dan and Raine. And we play as a family. Yum. Even though Raine is only 14 weeks old, there is a surprising amount of things we can do with him...Especially since the last two weeks as he has become more engaged. He has 3 play areas...Daddy's lap on the couch is most popular. (Probably over half of the photos I have taken of him in his small short life have been with daddy's knees in the background. LOL.) Daddy's lap (or alternatively, mommy's lap, which is smaller and not as comfy and doesn't happen as often) is also known as "Poop Position." We have found that Raine can get his number 2 train moving if he is sitting in this position, and that has helped us out on more than one occasion when little dude really needed to poop but couldn't. Haha. I can't believe I'm writing about this. So glamorous! Anyway, he loves sitting in our laps and looking at toys or listening to us as we talk. We have black and white pictures, board books, and sensory toys. We use these when he plays on the floor, while lying on his special quilt. ;) He is getting super close to rolling over, too! I guess he did kind do it Monday night, but Dan missed it and I didn't count it because he didn't "land" completely on the other side. LOL. He basically rolled from his back to his tummy, but didn't stay put with all fours down. He went right back from the way he came. Ha ha. So then, another play area that is *new is his crib! He sleeps in bed with us for now but I wanted to start building some positive associations with his crib. (Aside from playing in the crib, I also put him in it if he is asleep in his car seat when we get home. I'm trying to get him used to waking up in it.) So far he loves playtime in it. I play a musical stuffed animal and swing his crane mobile back and forth. He kicks his feet and stares completely enchanted. Evenings are pretty fun, huh? We also have bath time, swing time, and we used to go for walks until the rain started. Pretty much we wind things down and Raine and I are in bed nursing at about 10. He has been super great sleeping throughout the night. We wake occasionally so I can switch sides or change his diaper if he is wet and distracted by it. He gets really obnoxious and fidgety if he doesn't like the way it feels. :)

Lap Time!

Hangin' in Da Crib

Quilt playtime ;)

Anyway, I finally think I can wrap this up. :) I'm so grateful to have this little family and I am so excited about celebrating Raine's first Thanksgiving tomorrow. I hope your holiday finds you with loved ones and yummy food! I look forward to sharing about our day....Hopefully it won't take me a month to do that post.

xoxo,
Leah

Duds & Threads: 0-3 Months

2011-11-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

Today I packed up clothing that Raine has grown out of. ALREADY. He is just about 3 months old and I had to accept the fact that there are certain duds & threads that do not fit him anymore. :( He is officially out of sizes Newborn, 1 month, and 0-3 months. Slow down buddy!!! I can't believe this time has passed already. I couldn't part with anything so I just packed all of the tiny clothes for another day when I feel less sentimental about keeping them all and can actually set aside most for donation. Some of my favorite items I can hardly imagine giving away. Maybe to Doug & Rita (if they have a boy) or to a friend. MAYBE Allyson if she is lucky. (No, Allyson is not pregnant. LOL. Just saying...Down the road!)

I am having SO much fun dressing this little guy, so I thought I would share a few of my favorite things...

Favorite Brand: H & M. Pants, sweaters, onesies, etc. Lots of organic cotton choices and super cheap. Many thanks to Hattie for giving us stuff from here because otherwise I would have never known H & M had baby stuff. When we found out we would be meeting Raine three weeks early, I made a mad dash for this store to get stuff that would fit my little 7 pounder. (Had we gone 40 weeks he probably would have been 10 pounds, so I had not bought anything smaller.)

H & M onesies were my favorite because they were side snap (no need to pull the fabric over his fragile newborn head) and they were super soft organic cotton for only $7. He had several of these...lime green gray, light blue, black/white stripe, and blue/white stripe. There were a lot of gimmicky ones, too, with names of rock bands, cartoons, or words/phrases. I couldn't resist the I <3 Dad. :)

The onesies had coordinating organic cotton pants that were skinny but stretchy with nice wide waist and ankle bands.

My other super favorite thing from H & M is their sweaters. I got two cardigan style sweaters for him ($8 each) in gray and brown and I got tons of use out of them because they were very convenient for layering. We are retiring the gray sweater but the brown one will still fit for another couple of weeks. The jeans in the right photo are also from H & M and have that same wide waistband as the cotton pants, making them super comfy across his tummy (and then I don't have to bother with a zip fly on such a tiny wiggling guy). He is almost out of those jeans but I bought another pair for the next size up because I knew they would be my go-to pants.

Speaking of having to find something for a 7 pounder...Raine's take-home outfit was too big (It was 0-3 months, sized 8-11 lbs., by Tea Collection and he is currently wearing it now) so after H & M, I stopped by the Gap to find something special. I love Gap Baby but it is definitely more pricey than H & M or Target, another place I frequently browse. I lucked out with their end of summer Forest collection, which was full of cute screen printed and embroidered forest animals that I knew Dan would love. I am also a sucker for anything in ivory, so it was perfect. I got a long sleeve onesie with an embroidered fox (he ended up going home in it), a bodysuit with animals, and brown knit pants. Gap now offers a new size, 0-7 lbs., so I knew that would be perfect but I couldn't believe how TINY they were! I remember holding up those little brown knit pants and asking my friend that worked at the Gap if my baby was actually going to be small enough for them (especially with a diaper.) She laughed and reassured me that he would. I didn't really believe it until later when I saw it for myself. ;-)

I should add that my strategy for getting duds & threads from the Gap is to wait (if I can stand it) until they are on sale or clearance and order them off the web site. $25-$30 items get marked down as low as under $10 and if I order off the web site, I usually get free shipping and avoid the hassle of combing through messy sale racks and bins in the store. I did this last winter anticipating size 3-6 months for Raine's winter clothing and stocked up on knits, corduroy, and velour. (And right now I'm going to get a few things that I've had my eye on that have been marked down, for both now and next fall...Like this and this! LOL.)

Another set of onesies that he wore a lot were by Petunia Pickle Bottom. They were also side-snap and soft organic cotton. They were sold in a gift set of 3 and he had ivory/blue, ivory/brown, and ivory/lime green with a matching gift set of each striped socks. I got these a few years ago when I worked at Henny Penny so they are no longer available but PPB still does layette gift sets including a "Social Set" that has some yoga-like pants that are super cute! Not only did I love the onesies, those socks were on his feet practically every day! They were super cute and fit well so they never fell off. I wish they came in bigger sizes. :( Anyway, it's a very nice little package if you are looking for a good baby shower gift.

The other socks we used a lot that stayed on his little feet well were a gift set by Trumpette, in a rainbow of colors (See below). Also pictured below is a basic lap tee by Gerber. Loved throwing those side-snap shirts on easily. I don't know if other babies are super warm but Raine is a little heat bomb at his core, like his daddy, so quite often we skipped pajamas or gowns for sleeping in just a tee and diaper. And speaking of diapers! I packed away all of his newborn G pants. Some other time I will have to share about our diaper adventure, but for now I can say that we started off using G Diapers. I look at those tiny G pants now and can't believe he was that small!

I got the Gerber tees at Target as well as these little pants, jackets, and pajamas...I can always find something there, and it is in walking distance from our home.

What a silly little cute model, huh? ;-)

Oh Yeah, My 31st Birthday

2011-11-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

30 in 2010

In a vintage dress at Departure, the mid-century modern swanky rooftop bar of The Nines in PDX

31 in 2011

In milk and spit-up stained pjs with Raine in the Moby wrap taking a nap :)

If you had asked me last year, What could possibly top this year's Mad Men-inspired 30th birthday party? I would have said Absolutely Nothing. I had so much fun and Dan made it so very extra special...I couldn't have dreamed of something better. And not that this year was "better" but it was an unexpected, wonderful day in it's own little baby Raine way. ;-) It was very different than the year before! I went to a new parents/breastfeeding support group at my favorite little grocery store (I'm such a dork) and met Dan for lunch. Then there were naps, spit-up, some crying (mostly Raine but also me when I read Dan's card!) gifts & cards in the mail, cupcakes and roses, time in the rocking chair, and a long night's rest because Raine slept from 12 am to 7 am. Hallelujah!

Roses from hubby

My favorite card... from Allyson :)

Birthday song by Dan & Raine :)

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

Our little doggie. Oh my goodness, it was too cute for words! Thanks to Miss Lorri for the costume. ;-)

His trick-or-treat bag and pumpkin (I skipped carving and opted for magic marker ... I'm a new mom, not Martha Stewart.) A card from his cousins Lexi and Logan, and mama's cute little spider candle that he loves to look at, from Char. Oh! And that cute little handmade felt banner was a gift from Meghan!)

Grandma Char sent a Halloween package full of goodies from the Great Pumpkin. Raine got a monster mash book that plays sounds and music!

Baby Raine's first holiday weekend was pretty fun. ;-)

I had high ambitions to attend this fabulous party Saturday night, with a super cool little baby Raine dressed as Vincent Van Gogh, but I couldn't quite muster the energy and baby Enzo had his first cold so we didn't want to take a chance that Raine would catch it. :( I was really excited about dressing him up as Van Gogh, too. I was going to make him a little painters smock, bandage one of his ears, and give him a palette and paintbrush. ;-) Maybe next year?

Instead, we gathered at the home of the Sherwood 7 (Actually Sherwood 11! They were plus Gayle's sister and her partner from Eugene, and Gayle's father and his wife from California) for some homemade chili and conversation. On Sunday we filled our tummies with more homemade food at Carmen and Lorri's. Poutine and some sort of chocolate and toffee brittle with ice cream were on the menu!

By Monday I felt rested so despite the fact that it was a giant day (It was my first day back to work and Raine's first day with his new daycare provider, Miss Tina), I HAD to make sure we had some Halloween-y stuff done. We again joined the Sherwood 7 (minus the eldest, but still plus dad and his wife :)) for trick-or-treating. However, by the time the kids were heading out for candy, Raine was just waking up from a long doggie nap and more interested in boob time with mommy. After he had eaten and had two diaper changes, we ended up just posing outside Matt and Gayle's door and then called it a night! LOL. Apparently we weren't the only ones who didn't venture out in the neighborhood. The doorbell only rang 3 times all night and the kids said nobody was home when they went out. It was a shame because Matt and Gayle had some great decorations in the yard, complete with a fog machine!

Maybe next year it will be more exciting if it isn't on a Monday night!


The lighted path to the haunted house. Watch out for the hanging heads and Harley ghost!

Gayle gives Garret the proper football zombie appearance.

Holding my little doggie in the kitchen, waiting for the BLTs to be served up!!!

Dan's photo of the night: Bacon grease (?) and the whiskey he and Matt were sharing.


Doggie's awake! ;-)

Don't be scared!

Life With Baby Raine

2011-10-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

11 weeks old already!

Dan started affectionately calling him "Buddy Bean," and that seems to be his sticking nickname. I also call him "Munchkin," "Pumpkin," and "Pooker." Rocco and Hobbes call him "That Thing That Cries. Ugh."

Ours is now officially a household of baby talk. Dan is really quite good at it; I was suprised. There is a lot of "Boo boo boo boo boo" and "Who's the cutest baby in the world?" We also make up songs and invent games and stories to entertain ourselves as much as Raine. This includes The Underwater Adventures of Turtle Boy, Riding the Motorcycle, Running to Meh-Hee-Co, and Fishing For a Baby.

He can now hold his head up on his own and smile!

Raine and I are successfully breastfeeding. It was a rough start; that is for sure. I had to pump a lot while he was in the NICU and the first two weeks to get a good supply going. I also had to figure out how the HECK my body was going to handle the demand. Not the demand for milk, but the PHYSICAL demand it took to feed him 8-10 times a day. The success rate for mothers with Fibromyalgia for breastfeeding isn't great. The combination of sleep deprivation and physical demand on my body to feed Raine has been the greatest difficulty I have had with this condition. It has truly felt like a nightmare at times. Dan and I tried to problem solve the crap out of it, too, just as you have to do with everything related to taking care of a new little human being. The use of multiple props helped (foot stool, Brest Friend nursing pillow, pillows for back and butt, and nipple shields) but my saving grace was finally figuring out how to nurse while lying down. This meant I had to let go of my training wheels (the shields) and find peace with the fact that we would be co-sleeping. (I never intended for that to happen. I was looking forward to Raine independently sleeping in his crib.) I am also trying a medication to help with the pain because Ibuprofen and Tylenol (the only over the counter pain medicine allowed while breastfeeding) do not help. It has been six weeks and I think it has made a small difference. Enough to stay on it? I'm not sure yet.

Dan & Raine are having a lot of fun playing together.

Dan LOVES coming home. I mean, he loved coming home to me, before, but now it is crazy how much he loves to come home. Coming home to me AND Raine has knocked a small chip off his work-a-holic block. I LOVE it. ;-) He was fortunate to have 2 weeks at home with us after Raine was born and I can't even begin to tell you how vital that was for my existence. I was--in the words of my friend Meghan--A HOT MESS. Dan handled everything the first two weeks. He kept track of Raine's feedings and diaper changes, talked to doctors and took notes, changed diapers (I didn't even change a diaper until the 5th day, I think?) prepared meals, catered to my every need while breastfeeding, etc., etc. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was terrified to have him return to work and be left on my own with Raine. There were real panic attacks occurring in those first two weeks. While I have been on maternity leave, Dan has met us for lunch or quick visits countless times. He leaves for work a little later in the morning and comes home early if he can. I have been so spoiled! ;-)

We think he likes us.

Figuring out what Raine wants and/or needs is tricky business. We know a few things for sure at this point. Raine hates having his diaper changed unless he has a full tummy and feels like playing. In that case, he lays on his changing table and jibber-jabbers to his Ugly Dolls and kicks his feet, which we call "running to Meh-Hee-Co." (Ocassionally he heads north to Alaska, but not often. On a good day he can also make it as far south as Ecuador.) He likes it when Daddy holds him because he is higher up to see things like his nursery mobile and the fluorescent light in the kitchen. His swing and vibrating chair are cool places to hang out when he has a full tummy and feels like playing or taking a nap. Otherwise, he scolds us for placing him in such wretched things. When the car is moving, he LOVES riding in his car seat. When the car stops, not so much. We enjoy carrying him in slings or the Moby Wrap. If he needs to go to bed (because WE need to go to bed), we use these to help him drift off by pacing around the apartment or dancing. His favorite station on Pandora is Iron and Wine. His favorite things to do are: 1.) Eat (either with mommy or a bottle with daddy), 2.) Sleep (preferably in close contact with mommy), and 3.) Play (mostly with daddy and sometimes tummy time with mommy). His LEAST favorite thing is (we think) being gassy. We THINK this is the reason he cries for an hour or more on certain occasions.

For the most part, we are all doing really great. We have survived the first two (almost three) months and I am returning to work on Monday. Raine will be staying with a mom in Sherwood, who watches her two daughters (ages 3 and 4) and another client's boy who is 1. We are anxious but hopeful that it will be a good match for us and Raine. I realize I have come a long way in adjusting to life with my baby because I am actually finding time to write a post. LOL. ;-) I do plan on writing more often...I miss it! However, while I was away I was busy contributing to Raine's web site, BlastoniusHerzing.com, which features at least 1 new photo each day of Raine for his grandparents, family, and friends far away. If you didn't already know about it, check it out! The cuteness is Ridic.

xoxo,
Leah

p.s. All of these photos are from a session we did for our Christmas card with Christie Glynn Photography. Need a great family photographer in the Portland area? Check her out!

Raine's Birth Story (Part 2)

2011-09-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

I am writing our story in two parts. The first part is about labor and delivery and the second part is about our experience with Raine in the NICU until he came home three days later.

***

The first 24 hours after Raine's birth were such a joy. We ooohed and aaahhhed A LOT. :) Giddy with happiness, we sent text messages and made Facebook updates about Raine. Dan and my mom called family members. I was fiercely hungry. In fact, the first thing I did after he was born was order a hamburger! LOL. Believe me, I took full advantage of the fact that I could order any food to my room at anytime. We also had a cooler full of fresh fruit and snacks (the hospital didn't provide meals for my family members) as well as a dozen giant oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from Grand Central Bakery!

Raine had his first visitor, Gayle, who was also helping with transporting my mom back and forth between the hospital and our apartment. The following day he had two more visitors, Melissa and Lorri. All the hot ladies wanted to meet him...!!! :)

Friday afternoon, we got a visit from the pediatrician. An ultrasound of Raine's kidneys revealed his ureters and kidneys were still swollen. They did not know the cause and therefore wanted to admit him to the NICU for safety and observation. He needed a catheter and would have a dye test to check for obstructions. He was put on antibiotics immediately in case he got a urinary tract infection that could further harm the kidneys.

I can't even begin to tell you how sad it was to have them take him out of our room. Nothing prepares you for that separation, and especially for the time ahead when you have to leave the hospital without your baby. I cried a little after he left the room and then decided I wasn't going to get more upset than that. Dan also felt sad and powerless to help his little boy. I think he called his father and talked to him while I took a nap. There was nothing we could do but hope that the matter would be resolved quickly and Raine wouldn't have to stay long.

Getting to him seemed to take forever. When he was awake and ready to eat, the NICU nurse would call our nurse and she would notify us. I'd fly out of the bed, throw on a robe, and anxiously wait as she wheeled me through the halls. I would literally tremble with anticipation and anxiety. He was several floors down and we had to take two different sets of elevators. Once we reached the NICU, it was policy to wash our hands at big sinks at the entrance. The smell of antiseptic soap became comforting to me because it was associated with Raine. I think he even acquired the smell from our hands. I don't remember why, but Raine didn't have his own room. He was at the very end of the hall in an empty great room. There was a set of twins sleeping in an area to the left of the entrance and then back in the far corner, all alone, was Raine's bed. I nearly cried at how lonely it seemed the first time we saw him!

We could pick him up and hold him, but we had to be careful of his cords. They brought me a rocking chair and I was able to nurse him. He was also supplemented formula, so Dan had feeding time with him, too. Giving him formula was not something we had planned on (we wanted me to breastfeed him exclusively) but by the second night it was crucial to get him more fluids. The specialist reviewing his case agreed that if his creatinine levels (found in blood tests and used to indicate kidney function) were good, he would be able to go home as long as he stayed on the antibiotic. They also wanted to see a good amount of urine passing, and our nurse advised us to agree to formula in the night to get that result. Coordinating my breastfeeding visits was difficult and our time together was not always productive because Raine might choose to sleep instead. ;-)

I was discharged Saturday and Dan and I packed up and drove home. We were exhausted and overwhelmed so we planned to nap, eat, and return at night to visit and feed him. I think that plan enabled me to not be too emotional about leaving Raine behind in the NICU. It just felt like we were returning to our room on the 6th floor. I will never forget the drive back to the hospital later that night. I kept seeing his little face in my mind's eye and it was accompanied by such an incredible feeling of love and longing. It was utterly distracting. I suppose I could compare it to falling in love with someone and you can't stop thinking about them, and each thought of them brings a rush of excitement. This little creature was such a tiny new part of my life but already could move mountains in my innermost being.

We returned Sunday with a change of clothes for Raine in case he was able to go home. Because his dye test showed no obstructions and his creatinine level was good, his specialist discharged him Sunday afternoon. What a celebration! Our nurses were as hopeful as us and had everything ready for us ahead of time. We were able to put him in his little "going home" outfit and buckle his tiny little body into the car seat for the first time. :-) As we left, we passed so many little babies with their parents and I began to cry because I was so happy to be taking him home and yet so sad that there were so many families who remained (for who knows how long). I felt so. very. lucky.

*Of course, I am writing this two and a half months later (holy moly!), so I can give you an update on his condition...

Raine has had another renal and bladder ultrasound, followed by a renal MAG3 scan at Doernbecker's Childrens Hospital in Portland, and we have met with his specialist and pediatrician. "Hydronephrosis" is what they call his swollen kidneys, and it is usually caused by structural abnormalities of the junctions between the kidney, ureter, and bladder that occurs during fetal development (Raine's specialist said that his would have developed as early as 8 weeks in utero!) Because they have found no obstructions and no reflux, Raine's official diagnosis is Hydronephrosis and Non-Refluxing, Non-Obstructed Bilateral Megaureter. Which basically means, "everything is dilated but we don't know why." LOL.

Of course I don't like the idea that his kidneys and ureters are dilated and I fear that it could eventually cause permanent damage, but there is no reason to suspect that now. His kidneys function completely normally and his specialist said that over the next three years there is a 1 in 5 chance that his condition will get worse. It is strange that this is something he will "grow out of," but that seems to be the case. He will have semi-regular ultrasounds to monitor everything, but other than that, there is nothing to be done and nothing to really worry about at this point!

Raine's Birth Story (Part 1)

2011-09-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

In my last trimester, I began obsessively reading birth stories on the blog "Spearmint Baby," and relished every birth story a friend, family member, or sometimes stranger (!) shared with me. I couldn't get enough of birth stories! EVERY story was completely DIFFERENT. There seemed to be so many possibilities and I couldn't wait to find out what our story would be. If you had asked me beforehand what I hoped for in terms of my labor experience, I would have said that I wanted it to feel as natural as possible. I didn't know if I was capable of a medication-free labor and delivery, but I kind of hoped for that because introducing medications had a way of creating an experience that I didn't feel comfortable with. For example, when I watched videos and read descriptions, I felt physically uncomfortable thinking about having things attached to me or having to be lying in a bed the whole time. My instinct was to want to move freely and be able to work through pain and/or push in whatever position I needed to. And just because life has a way of entertaining you with irony, when I was told I would be induced, I realized I was going to have the kind of experience I was hoping to avoid! I have to say that Raine's birth ended up nothing like the birth that I "hoped for," but entirely wondrous in its own way and I am grateful that even though there were medications and interventions, and that I ended up in a bed the whole time (!) everything worked out in such a way that we were both still safe and healthy. So I am grateful for my unexpected experience and mostly my remarkable husband, who documented as much of it as he could while supporting me every step of the way (And those photos and videos enabled us to make our special little video!) :)

Also, I am writing our story in two parts. The first part is about labor and delivery and the second part is about our experience with Raine in the NICU until he came home three days later.

***

My mother, Dan, and I arrived at the hospital Wednesday night and were given a spacious room with a beautiful view of the sun setting over the Fir trees in the west hills of Portland. It made me happy that our son was about to be born in this special city that Dan and I love so much. :) After changing into my birthing gown, I was given a hep-lock IV in my right wrist. This was one of my least favorite moments because 1.) It would eventually "attach" me to something, making me feel more restricted, and 2.) It hurt! And for some reason my nurse had trouble with it and there was some blood involved that made me nauseous. I was also immediately "attached" to a machine with two bands around my midsection for both the baby's heart rate and my contractions. If I needed to get up and move, I had to unplug the bands and their cords, wrap them around me, and take them with me! It made for some extremely awkward trips to the bathroom.

My cute little organic cotton birthing gown, fluffy slippers, and all of my "stuff."

After an exam, the doctor decided to begin my induction by using Cervidil, a suppository that would soften the muscle fibers of my cervix and cause contractions. I was told that it could take up to 12 hours to work, so I would be able to rest through the night while we waited.

Um, yeah right! It seemed to begin working immediately! I hardly had time to recover from the pain of it being "placed" inside me before I started having painful cramps. The nurse gave me medication so that I could relax and sleep, but it was only effective for about 1 hour. I spent the night waking in pain every hour and a half, making awkward trips to the bathroom, and calling the nurse for more medicine. My mother slept on a couch while Dan sat in a chair next to my bed, ready to help me if I needed it. By morning, the medicine was no longer helping and I was tired and overwhelmed.

I think I remember getting out of bed at this point and sitting on a birthing ball while Dan held a heated pack against my lower back and/or abdomen. It was a small moment of relief before the nurse came in and removed the suppository. In Dan's notes, he wrote: "8:45 a.m. - Cervical out. Worse pain I saw you in." He told me that my entire body turned bright red and I'm sure I howled in pain like I did when they put it in, but I totally do not remember this moment. I have blocked it from memory!

In the morning I was 3 cm dilated and used breathing techniques to get through the contractions. I laid sideways, closed my eyes, and gripped the bar on the side of the bed. I was aware that Dan was there with me, but I wasn't able to look at him and focus on him to help me in the way that I thought that I would. I remember hearing his voice and smelling coffee on his breath. I remember thinking that the baby would know him by his coffee scent. :)

At 10:00 a.m. they gave me an epidural. I was frustrated because I was trying to breath through my contractions while both a nurse and the anesthesiologist gave me instructions. It was so hard to concentrate on what they were saying and I didn't know who to listen to. They seemed agitated-either with each other or me for not doing as I was told. Finally, the anesthesiologist seemed fed up and cut the nurse off. I managed to get into the position he needed and the next thing I knew, I was asleep.

I slept so hard that I was snoring. Dan said it was the best sound he had heard during the whole experience. I think he was super relieved that I was no longer in pain. I woke up at 11:00 when my water broke and then drifted in and out of sleep over the next hour while breathing into an oxygen mask. Yes, more attachments! With the oxygen mask came the blood pressure cuff, and the Hep Lock IV now pulsed saline and antibiotics through my bloodstream. Of course, by that point I was clueless and didn't care.

By 12:30, I was 8 cm dilated, and even with the epidural, I could feel a tremendously uncomfortable and strong pressure with a sensation that my body wanted to push. In fact, over the next hour, the sensation got stronger and it felt like my body was pushing, all on its own, and I laid there and worried, trying to stop it. At that point, I also had a bowel movement from the pushing, and even though I had read that this can happen, I was utterly dismayed and kept saying how sorry I was. LOL.

I waited for what felt like an eternity for the "OK," and finally it came. One last stubborn lip of my cervix dilated and the doctor and several nurses got everything ready for me super quick. I constantly felt the urge to push, but they watched my contractions on the monitor and stood at my feet and told me when to do it and for how long. Dan stood beside them and cheered me on.

Every time they cheered, I remember thinking "Oh my God. This isn't working. I'm not strong enough. These pushes aren't good enough. Dan and the doctor and nurses are just saying I am doing a great job to keep me going.....Oh well. I guess I have to keep going." LOL.

As it turns out, they were right. I was doing a great job. In fact, I only pushed through probably 12 contractions...About fifteen minutes or so? And again, even with the epidural, I could still feel things and it was painful. Sometimes I screamed or shrieked as I pushed and the nurses would tell me to stop, and to focus that energy into the push. When the baby's head crowned, they asked me if I wanted to feel it. I thought, "Are you crazy!? No! I don't want to stop and feel around down there, I want to PUSH HIM OUT!" LOL.

At 1:51 p.m., he came out. I felt his body leave mine in a slick rush, but I didn't hear him cry or see him! I must have been looking away or had my eyes closed and the nurses immediately took him to his bed to examine him. Above all, this was nothing like I expected! For 9 months I had been looking forward to that moment where he emerges and he is placed on my chest (every birth video had that moment and it always made me cry!) Dan looked forward to possibly "catching him," handing him to me, and helping cut the umbilical cord.

What I didn't know at the time was that Raine emerged with blue flesh and wasn't breathing right. I had no idea this was going on, but Dan was with him as the nurses worked on him and coaxed him to breathe and react to them. I could see them all huddled around him across the room and I just thought they were doing routine checks. The doctor delivered my placenta and then began sewing my tears. I vaguely listened to another doctor give her instructions (she was a resident) and waited. And waited.

Finally the doctor came to me and told me that Raine had some trouble but was doing okay, and that they had to take him to the NICU to monitor him. Tears stung at my eyes as I told her that I hadn't even seen him yet! She assured me I could hold him for a few minutes before they left.

And then he came to me and was placed on my chest.

I don't have words for that moment.

I said hello to my son and held him.

Dan and I couldn't believe how cute he was.

After a few minutes together, the doctor took our picture and then he had to go. Dan was able to go with them and he later told me that Raine did super well in the NICU. In order for him to come back to us, they needed to see his oxygen level at a specific amount and his heartbeat at a certain rate for approximately an hour. Like a good boy doing just as he was asked, he stabilized right away. Dan was able to give him a bath and then they returned to me. With a great sense of relief, we were all transferred together to our recovery room, where Raine and I caught up on some much needed sleep. :) Dan later told me that throughout the entire experience, his absolute favorite moment was that afternoon in the recovery room as he stood and watched us sleeping; the moment he realized we were a family.

Happy birthday Raine!

Raine

2011-08-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

Don Raine Alexander Herzing

August 11, 2011
1:51 in the afternoon
7 lbs. 4 oz.
21.25 inches

This Is It, Folks!

2011-08-07T20:51:00.001-07:00

How Far Along? 36 weeks and 6 days. Wednesday I will be 37 weeks and considered officially full term. To our surprise, we found out last week that at that point, my labor will be induced. So this is my last entry about being pregnant. Why not go out with a bang? I'm showing off my big ol' belly and pregnant body in all of its glory in a swimsuit. :)

Baby's Size and Development? At our ultrasound last week, Blasty weighed 6.75 lbs. What a healthy boy. :) Something unusual has happened with his development, though. At our ultrasound July 11th, the radiologist noted that Blasty's right ureter was larger than average. They waited three weeks and then we went to the perinatologist's office to have a better look. (We also had to start a series of non-stress tests twice a week to monitor Blasty's heartbeat because of my low PAPP-A.) We discovered that both ureters have a partial blockage that is preventing his kidneys from being able to release all of his urine into his bladder. This blockage has caused the kidneys to swell a little but no further damage is taking place at this point. They decided that as soon as I was full term they would induce labor and delivery him safely so the pediatric urologist can assess him and determine the best way to fix it. He is probably going to have to corrective surgery but we won't know for sure until he is born. This was very surprising news, to say the least! I felt very close to fainting when she said they wanted to induce in 1 week. It took me a while to get over the shock of it, before I could even begin to process all of the other information! I don't know if I have ever squeezed Dan's hand so tight!

Changes in Me?
Physically...Everything is the same and continues to be challenging. I fully understand now why everyone says the last 4 weeks of your pregnancy are harder than all of the rest. However now I have an early end in sight and I am grateful that I won't have to experience more. I don't see how I could have kept carrying him to the end without using a cane to walk and spending most of the time in bed!
Emotionally...Wow. It is all so surreal. I just can't believe it is happening so soon! I am so very excited to meet him, but I am also anxious about inducing labor, worried about his health, and nervous about being a new parent. I am so grateful for all of our friends and family who have shown tremendous support the past few days with texts, emails, phone calls, and facebook messages. I think it has truly helped me get through this past week without having an emotional breakdown! LOL.

Maternity Clothes? I've been rockin' that swimsuit quite a bit. Thanks to Melly for giving it to me, and thanks to the Sherwood 5 for hanging out with me at our pool. :) (The Sherwood 5 are the children of our friends, Matt and Gayle.)

Sleep? Awful. It is very difficult to fall asleep at this point because my mind is on overdrive. I still only sleep an hour or two at a time because of trips to the bathroom and hip cramps. I think waking to feed a newborn isn't going to be much different, huh??

Best Moment This Past Week? I got to see Blasty at 3 ultrasounds. They have been monitoring him every other day. Also since my last post, Dan and I had a date day (which turned out to be our last...Little did we know!) and that was wonderful. We went out to eat, saw Harry Potter, and picked up some treats at Whole Foods. (Dan usually gets a new beer he hasn't tried and some sort of stinky cheese, while I get some sort of gooey chocolate pastry and fresh fruit.)

Movement? Blasty is head down and curled up but continues to move on a regular basis, primarily his little feet and sometimes his shoulders and arms. I think he's pretty comfortable because he still has a lot of amniotic fluid to move in. I discovered at the first non-stress test (where they monitor both Blasty's heart rate and my uterine activity) that I am having contractions. I had no idea! The nurse could see it though, both physically as my stomach tightened and contorted and on the graph paper that charts the small arches as the contractions occur. I have noticed the tightening ever since I started nicknaming Blasty "Bulgy McBulgerson" because I thought it was him stretching and sticking his parts out. I didn't realize it was my uterus contracting. LOL. Well, now I know.

Symptoms? At long last, a little heartburn. (So maybe he'll have a little hair???) And Braxton-Hicks contractions! :) And I have to say I'm really happy to know that I've been having these all along (at least two months now) because my uterus needs the practice. It is in for a VERY rude awakening Wednesday night.

What I Miss? Rolling over like it's no big deal. Lying on my back and stomach. Being able to reach things and bend over without this belly in the way. Sleep. Beer. :)

What I Am Looking Forward To? SEEING BLASTY FOR THE FIRST TIME. SEEING DAN GET TO HOLD HIM. HOLDING HIM IN MY ARMS AND KISSING HIM, LOOKING INTO HIS EYES. OH MY GOODNESS, I CAN'T WAIT! :)

Emotions? Words can't express. I've never been more proud of myself and my love for Dan has just kept growing exponentially throughout this pregnancy. I can't even begin to imagine how much stronger these emotions will be after our little boy is born. What a journey we have taken together!

Blasty's Nursery - Finished!

2011-07-30T21:47:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness...Where do I begin? This room has been a project of labor and love for much longer than I have even known I am pregnant. As most of you know, I started stockpiling things for "future-baby" back in 2004 when I started working at a baby boutique, and then actually started scouting out furniture and decor while browsing blogs for unique ideas in 2007 when we first started trying to conceive. Of course, times change and my taste changed over and over again, so by the time I found myself with a positive pregnancy test, a virtual license, if you will, to start creating a nursery(!), I was both excited and overwhelmed with ideas. I pulled out everything I had stored away and put together an "inspiration" album to guide me (check it out here, if you like). I didn't just decorate this room, I curated it. Every single little detail has a story that I could tell and was selected with more than enough special care and consideration. And I have to thank that SILLY. AMAZING. WONDERFUL. husband of mine for his help and record-breaking patience as I altered this sacred 125 square foot space over the last 8 months! :)

So without further ado, here are the basics, followed by a link to the album with more detailed photos....!

See More Photos Here...!

5 Weeks to Go!

2011-07-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

How Far Along? 34 weeks and 5 days. That's 243 days of pregnanthood. But who is counting?

Baby's Size and Development? According to our ultrasound two weeks ago, Blasty was weighing in at 4.5 lbs. If he is managing the average weight gain expected of babes in utero, that would make him 5.5 lbs today. I believe it. I feel it! He has become one heavy little bundle and the nickname Bulgy McBulgerson has stuck. When we see him at the next utlrasound he should be 6 lbs., which was my approximate birth weight at three weeks early. So he's definitely a little ahead of my growth but I'm totally happy to say he is trailing Dan's growth! :) It is pretty safe to say that Blasty will NOT be born over 10 lbs like Dan. It looks like we are going to have a nice average. I'll take it!!!

Changes in Me?

Physically...I've been using the phrase: It's all going to shit. It's true. It seems as though anything that could break down or go wrong with my body is taking it's opportunity to do so in this last month! So let's see: My gums are sore and bleeding, my jaw locked, I'm much more congested than before, my upper back and shoulder muscles are knotted, Blasty occasionally crowds my stomach and sends my food back from where it came from, I've lost my appetite, the weight gain has finally caught me off guard and I hurt my wrists trying to stand up, my ankles swell often, my fibro in my legs is worse, my hips get charlie horse cramps frequently, other unmentionables are very swollen and sore, and frequent hot flashes.

And yet, everyone tells me "You're GLOWING!" Ha ha.

Emotionally...I'm kinda all over the place. I have moments of extreme fear, anxiety, and loneliness, which have elicited numerous texts and emails to girlfriends. I have even begged some of them to fly out here and please. just. keep. me. company. I am also more prone to feeling just plain IRRITATED and impatient. I have been doing my best to not take it out on Dan, since he is really the only person in my general proximity and therefore most vulnerable to my mood swings. :) I also have this giant ball of love forming in my chest that doesn't quite have a way to express itself yet. I imagine when Blasty arrives it will finally melt and ooze from my every pore all over his sweet little baby body.

Maternity Clothes? I'm trying to avoid "tent" clothing but it is getting harder. :) Wearing fitted things just doesn't feel as cute as it did when my belly was smaller. I do my best to accessorize the same boring items that I do wear, and additional treats like pedicures help me feel somewhat normal and pretty. Wanting to find something special for our Oregon baby shower, I scored a dress at Target the day before and it was a huge success. I got more compliments on that dress (via Facebook, mostly) than any other article of clothing during my entire pregnancy! It is a lovely, rich blue color with a generous, draped Grecian-like cut. I LOVE it and could wear it every day. I can definitely wear it after the pregnancy, too, I'll just have to get it hemmed.

Sleep? I'm lucky to get what I can. I guess that's all I can say. After my last post, nothing has changed except I try to sneak more naps in. My boss agreed to let me reduce my hours at work so I have a little extra time in the morning to get going (every bit helps!) and I now leave work an hour and half earlier, giving me a chance to nap or float my aching body in the pool. :)

Best Moment This Past Week? Since my last post 3 weeks ago, we had our Oregon baby shower and got to celebrate Blasty's coming arrival with all of our friends here. How generous and wonderful they all are, too!!! We had a great afternoon together, sitting in the sunshine on Matt and Gayle's deck with a beautiful view, with some yummy fruit, side salads, microbrews, and assorted sausages (Dan was particularly thrilled to be grilling those sausages...That was definitely the highlight of his week!) We were so happy to see lots of friends, co-workers and former co-workers (including one of my bosses from Henny Penny!) as well as Dan's childhood friend, Jay, who traveled from Seattle with his wife and son for the occasion.

A little handmade giraffe by Melissa

A super cool mobile I had JUST seen and admired while shopping that weekend at Posh, from Greg and Stacie

Movement? Constant. Which is annoying but lovely. :)

Symptoms? No need to go over those again. Ugh. However, I will point out common symptoms that I HAVEN'T had, which include heartburn (does this mean Blasty is going to be bald?!?) and no Braxton Hicks contractions yet.

What I Miss? Lying on my back and stomach, freedom of movement like bending over and getting up and down or turning with ease, alcoholic beverages, being able to multi-task and having a greater attention span, having stamina/energy, weighing 50 lbs. lighter, and my best friends who live far away. My misery aches for their entertaining and relaxing company. :)

What I Am Looking Forward To? Another glimpse of Blasty at our (hopefully last) ultrasound, August 3rd.

Emotions? Fear, irritation, joy, anticipation, LUV for my boys :)

Hubby + Wifey + Blasty
See more photos from our Oregon shower here.

Dear Blasty, You Can Be Born Whenever You Want

2011-07-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

The shadows make for a little bit of a "joker" face, but still so cute! :0)

We had what we *thought* was going to be our last ultrasound this past Monday. It was ordered as a final follow-up to check his growth because of my low PAPP-A. We were so excited to see him and I knew his growth had to be good because he FEELS so big! The technician did her measurements and he showed up again suddenly on the monitor with his chubby cheeks and eyes wide open as if they were looking right at us. I wish she would have kept the "camera" there longer but she had her work to do. At least she gave us a photo. :) She told us he was weighing in at 4.5 lbs., which is in keeping with what I have read the average weight gain should be at this point in his development. If he gains a 1/2 lb. every week (as they are supposed to do) and arrives on or near his due date, he will have a birth weight of roughly 8 lbs. I will gladly take that instead of something similar to Dan's 10 lb birth weight!!!! LOL.

Pleased to have seen our healthy boy, we happily started our first birth class (1 of 5) that following evening. The goal of the birth education classes (provided by my insurance company) is to explain the stages of labor and the delivery process at our specific hospital, offer instruction for non-medicated relaxation techniques, and education on breastfeeding and post-delivery infant care. Dan and I both read up on what to expect for labor but this gives us a chance to ask questions with someone who knows our hospital's procedures as well as interact with other couples who are expecting babies around the same time as us. Of course Dan was a big hit with the other men and took the leadership role when they met on their own. He also had his usual scientific questions....What exactly IS the amniotic fluid made of??? :-)

Yesterday we received a call from our doctor and he has a small concern about something he saw in one of the photos from the ultrasound. Apparently, Blasty's right ureter (the tube that connects his kidney to his bladder) is looking a little larger than they would like to see. Dr. O. said the maximum they want to see is 7 mm and Blasty's was 8 mm. He consulted our perinatalogist, and they both agreed that having another (better) look at it was a good idea. Best case scenario: the technician took a bad photo or wrong measurement and there is no problem at all. Worst case scenario is that there is some sort of blockage happening and we would need an operation to fix it after he is born. Dr. O. told me not to worry and they didn't even schedule the ultrasound until the first week of August so apparently they aren't tremendously concerned. I suppose if it was much bigger they would want to take a look again right away. It wasn't great getting less than perfect news, but I am confident it will be okay. I am trusting the doctors and so far we have survived all of our little hiccups with nothing but a healthy, (I am assuming happy), growing baby!

We also got some super great news in terms of our insurance for Blasty. Previously I mentioned that I had the option to cover Blasty through my plan with Kaiser at work but it was expensive. To get a less expensive independent individual plan, we needed Blasty to be born in August so we could get paperwork in for a September 1st enrollment. (Oregon only allows enrollment for children under 18 twice a year). I was getting very anxious about this! I don't know when he is going to be born and I hated to leave his insurance up in the air until the last minute. I was also worried about getting paperwork through if he was born at the very end of the month. Suddenly I realized I had to figure out all of those things like how to get the birth certificate and social security number, etc. Would the insurance company take paperwork without his SS#? Because I read they take 4-6 weeks to get in the mail. All of my worries were laid to rest, however, when my angel of an insurance broker gave us the news that Oregon is changing the law as of August 1st! Children will be able to enroll ANY TIME OF THE YEAR. Yea!!!! Problem solved!!! Blasty, you can be born WHENEVER YOU WANT! :-)

In the meantime, we are trying to get as "ready" for that moment as possible. There are lots of "TO DO" lists that I have converted into color coded post-it notes on the refrigerator. Dan is doing a great job of completing his post-it notes tasks. :-) I'm a little slower but I'm MOVING slower and Hey! I have the biggest post-it note of all: grow the baby! LOL.

In preparation, we have been doing a lot. Some fun things have been: finishing the nursery decor, laundering Blasty's blankets, clothing, and diapers (he has already lost 2 socks to the washer/dryer universe and he's not even born yet!), and picking out the birth announcements. Our Oregon *family* baby shower is tomorrow and I can't wait! We have some friends coming that we haven't seen forever! Photos to follow... :-)

Bulgy McBulgerson

2011-07-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

How Far Along? 32 weeks and 1 day, so I am beginning my 33rd week. I have 5 weeks left before I go on maternity leave and 7 weeks until Blasty's official due date. It is VERY overwhelming to be working with these single digits.

Baby's Size and Development? Blasty is supposed to be measuring it at around 1 foot long and 3-3 3/4 lbs. We will have a more approximate idea of his size and stature when we see him at our next (and hopefully last!) ultrasound on Monday. The doctor forgot to order measurements at our last screening, as a follow up to previous concerns about Blasty's growth because of my low PAPP-A. I have to say, though, he has GOT to be on target or ahead of the game a little because he FEELS huge! I've nicknamed him "Bulgy McBulgerson" for the way his biggest most round parts protrude now on a regular basis. :)

Changes in Me?

Physically...I seem to be in a whole new phase. The belly is bigger than ever and causing major restrictions. I can't really do much of anything anymore without it getting in the way or hurting other parts of my body with its weight and pressure. It is getting very difficult to find any sort of comfortable position to sit or lay in. The only pure relief is when I am in water, where the buoyancy is amazing! Also, my ankles disappeared last weekend, once we experienced the 90 degree weather in California. They haven't quite returned, either.

Emotionally... The eagerness/readiness vs. sheer panic continues as I contemplate becoming a first time parent. :) I also find myself shorter of temper and quick to cry in specific situations. At a recent ballgame, I had to fight tears at the sound of someone singing the "Star Spangled Banner" (that was a first) and again in the 7th inning when someone sang "God Bless America." It wasn't necessarily a rush of patriotism so much as it was the beauty of a singing voice, and a crowd of people joining in.

Maternity Clothes? For public appearances, I am basically living in two pairs of pants at this point: Plain, black cotton capris by Liz Lange for Target and adjustable cargo pants from Megan. My hand-me-down swimsuit worked perfectly while in California, and I was happy to still fit in the dress I bought for Kevin & Katie's wedding (another Liz Lange for Target purchase, in photo at the top). I'm definitely feeling more like a giant whale in everything that I wear, and it would be nice if perfect strangers would stop telling me I'm so big, asking me when I am due, and then acting like they feel sorry for me because I still have two months. One lady even told me, "Oh my God, you're going to have a big baby!" Geeez! Thankfully, my faithfully sweet husband and Starbucks baristas still tell me daily that I look super cute. So I'm sticking with them. LOL. :)

Sleep? Well, my restful nights have ended. I now wake every 1-2 hours to either switch sides or go to the bathroom. When my bladder is full, the pressure of it combined with my uterus and Bulgy McBulgerson make it almost impossible to walk, so those late night trips to the toilet are getting really frustrating. Almost every morning I now wake with cramps in my hips, so I am really looking forward to post-pregnancy when I can go back to sleeping comfortably on my back or stomach. Without consistent sleep, my Fibromyalgia is rearing its ugly little head and my legs have been very painful the past few days. The only relief seems to be sitting in a tub of warm water, but that isn't really much of an option when I have to rush off to work in the morning. Heat packs seem to be the way to go, so I am lucky that our office is air conditioned.

Best Moment This Past Week? We had a lot of time with Dan's family this past weekend while we were in California, and Grandpa Jim got to feel Blasty moving around. Dan and I enjoyed our time away together and I loved relaxing in the pool and hot tub with him.

Movement? He's a mover and a shaker. All times of the day and especially when I am eating, which is kind of nauseating. I keep thinking he's going to run out of room, but apparently he hasn't!

Symptoms? Same as before: Pain and discomfort in my lower back and hips, occasional shortness of breath, congestion, trouble concentrating, anxiety, acne, and now swollen ankles.

What I Miss? Same as before: Freedom of movement.

What Am I Looking Forward To? Our baby shower next weekend with our Oregon family of friends. :)

Emotions? Joy, anxiety, pride, LUV for hubby & Blasty. :)

Wedding Reception Photo Booth Fun

2011-07-06T20:58:00.001-07:00

...And a big congrats to Doug & Rita, Dan's brother and sister-in-law, who are expecting their first baby in December! :)

Reading To Blasty

2011-06-26T18:45:00.001-07:00

Earlier this week, Dan announced that he wanted to start reading to Blasty every night before we go to sleep. He wants Blasty to know his voice. :) Luckily, we already have a large collection of books! For our baby shower at Uncle Doug & Aunt Rita's, everyone was asked to sign their name to a book for Blasty's library rather than a card. (We had an entire duffel bag full of books that we brought home!) It has been so much fun to pick a new book every night and open it up to see who it is from.**

The first night was really funny though, because the first book he picked had about 2 words in it. LOL. It was a picture book of trucks. He enthusiastically read "Truck" and "Trucking" about ten times and that was it. I laughed so hard I cried! :) Every night was fun as we alternated picking books and often opened them up to find a signature and think of a good friend or family member. Last night we opened up one to find out it was from Papa & Noni, (my mom and dad) and it was a popular book I had heard of but never read, "On the Night You Were Born." It was so sweet! Oh boy it was hard not to cry! :)

Here is a list of Blasty's first books this past week...I know it is totally silly to share it, but hey, I'm a sentimental pregnant mama:

Truck by Donald Crews
Just Me and My Dad by Mercer Mayer (Both Dan and I grew up reading and LOVING the Little Critter books, didn't you??? My favorites were "Just Go To Bed" and "Me Too")
The Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton (I hear all of her books are great?)
On The Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman
I Like Bugs by Lorena Siminovich (Petit Collage illustrations--I LOVE their stuff! I didn't know they did books...)
Gossie by Olivier Dunrea

Dan relinquished a shelf from his pint glass collection in the hallway for Blasty's books. (I guess he's officially entering daddy-hood!)

In an attempt to get things organized, I also got some baskets and a bin to hold toys (not that Blasty really has any yet, but I am assuming we will end up with quite a few and we don't have any closet space for them).

The red baskets were a big score from Cost Plus World Market (online) at just $7 each and then I super-indulged myself with 1 of those popular/trendy organic canvas bins (quite the deceptively HUGE container) by 3 Sprouts ($40).

**The most popular books at the baby shower were "Goodnight Moon" and "Guess How Much I Love You." Blasty received 4 copies of each. :) Another note of interest: He received books in Spanish and French, not just English! We will have fun practicing our horrible accents. :)

10 Weeks To Go....!

2011-06-26T18:06:00.001-07:00

At the wedding of our dear friends, Patrick & Teressa, June 25, 2011

How Far Along? 30 weeks and 4 days. I have been pregnant for 214 days! The time is truly flying by. He is going to be here before we know it!!!

Baby's Size and Development? Blasty is supposed to be around 11.5" crown to rump and about 3.5 lbs. He is pretty gosh darn fully functioning at this point! LOL. From here on out it's all about brain growth and the further sophistication of his little organs and tissues, as well as puttin' on the fat pounds to give him those chubby limbs and cheeks. :) I guess babies average gaining a half a pound a week in the final two months.

Changes in Me?

Physically...The belly continues to grow and I am getting a tiny bit of swelling at my ankles every once in a while but other than that, no changes. I am happy to report (if you haven't heard by now) that the doctor confirmed that the placenta moved as my uterus grew, so I no longer have restrictions and I am good to go for a natural delivery at this point. HOORAY! :) I also passed my gestational test (Yea!) but I am anemic and I have had to change my diet a little and take a supplement to get more iron. Unfortunately this has been a big pain in the ass because a.) My iron supplement (recommended to be taken on an empty stomach with orange juice) makes me nauseous and if I take it with a little bit of food or after a meal, I end up throwing up. b.) Calcium blocks the absorption of iron and what do I crave ALL the time, especially when my stomach is upset? MILK. I am trying to get my iron from food instead of taking the pills but I'm having a hard time not having dairy with or near the time I eat it!

Emotionally...I am getting REALLY excited. The wonder and fear/anxiety are really setting in as the due date gets closer. Reality checks are everywhere. We had our hospital tours (we had two hospitals to choose from) and selected one to pre-register at. We started the search for a daycare provider. We will start birth classes soon. I get memos from my pregnancy emails that talk about knowing signs of preterm labor and having your bag packed for the hospital. I saw a mama with a 2 week old baby yesterday and realized how close we are to meeting our sweet little Blasty in person. I now have a daily sense of both eagerness/readiness and panic! LOL

Maternity Clothes? Loving maternity pants so much that I may never go back to the old ways. Ha ha. The dress I wore to the wedding was Megan's and this cute little top that I wore to the rehearsal dinner was Lorri's. I'm so grateful for hand-me-downs! I'm also grateful that it is summertime and I can wear comfy sandals all the time AND that I work at an office with a super casual dress code!

Sleep? Sleep is going OK. I'm still getting a good amount but it is so frequently interrupted by trips to the bathroom. And Rocco has been crying every morning at 4:45 from his kennel. We don't know why and it is super annoying. I guess he's prepping us for baby cries.

Best Moment This Past Week? Dan has been reading to Blasty every night before we go to sleep and these have been special moments to me...I'm going to write a separate little post about it. :)

Movement? He is still small enough to move around completely so that his head and rump are both bulging from the upper part of my belly. I read that in the next two weeks he'll settle more head-down as he grows and prepares for birth. He is super active! He moves all day long. I never wake up and feel him moving so he must sleep when I do. Feeling him move is definitely my favorite thing about being pregnant and I'll miss it after he is born. But I'm sure holding him in my arms will feel amazing in a way that I can't even comprehend right now!

Symptoms? Same as before: Pain and discomfort in my lower back and hips, occasional shortness of breath, congestion, trouble concentrating, anxiety, acne, and also a little bit of swelling now.

What I Miss? Freedom of movement. It is so gosh darn hard to just simply MOVE anymore. Anytime I want to change the position I am sitting in it is a giant chore, and any form of walking or standing must be done with great care to avoid shooting pain, particularly around my sciatic nerve. I am also really, really starting to miss lying on my stomach. My hips and back are so worn out from lying on my side.

What Am I Looking Forward To? We have a trip this week to San Francisco and although I'm anxious about the 11 hour drive there, I'm SO excited to see family and friends and get away from work for a long weekend!

Emotions? Excitement and anxiety about how close we are getting to labor and delivery. Pride.

So much LOVE for Dan.

So much LOVE for Blasty.

Before/After

2011-06-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

Before...in the Goodwill parking lot :-)

After all of Dan's hard work!!!

Before, at 13 weeks in an empty room...

At 30 weeks in our nursery!

More photos coming soon...! ;-) This was all I had the energy to post. LOL.

Blasty Bomb Belly Photos!

2011-06-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

All photos by my wonderful and talented best friend, Amy! (Amy Mulder Photography) I can't wait for her to do his portrait after he is born! :) She is AWESOME.

Taken in Grandma and Grandpa Hodel's back yard on May 23, 2011 (I was about 26 weeks along).

27 Weeks

2011-06-01T20:33:00.001-07:00

How Far Along? 27 weeks. Today is the first day of week 28, the first week of the LAST TRIMESTER, PEOPLE. WOW.

Baby's Size and Development? Blasty is supposed to be around 15" head to toe and 2 lbs. We will know his specifics at our next ultrasound in a week, when we FINALLY GET TO CHECK THE PLACENTA. LOL.

Changes in Me? MY BELLY IS BIG. I mean, big. It might not look THAT big but it FEELS horribly big. It was fun to watch/feel it grow at first, but now I'm kinda getting nervous. I can't believe it is going to get even bigger. A LOT bigger! Other changes are mostly related to painful areas around my BIG belly like my hips, thighs, groin, and lower back. I am beginning to wonder how on earth I will keep this manageable as he grows. I am pretty much in pain or just plain uncomfortable 95% of the time and by the time I get home from work, where I have sat at a computer for 8 hours, I want to cry. Sometimes I do, as soon as I get through the door into the safe hug of my hubby.

Maternity Clothes? I couldn't wait any longer and I bought a pair of black cotton maternity capri pants (kinda like yoga pants) just before our trip. And I reached the stockpile at Megan's house in Illinois JUST IN TIME, because once I put on those real maternity pants, there was no turning back to my old pairs that I wore with the belly band. In fact, I haven't worn a belly band in two weeks. It is full on maternity time and I am SO GRATEFUL that Megan hooked me up! She provided all kinds of pants, shorts, dresses, blouses, and t-shirts. We had to get a new duffel bag to bring it all back to Oregon with us, but Dan was happy that I was getting a new summer wardrobe without shopping. :) I also recently got clothes from April and Melissa, including a maternity swimsuit that I hope fits because as soon as this weather warms up, I am so ready for the buoyancy of the pool....! :)

Sleep? This continues to be a wonderful thing. I am so grateful for every little bit of sleep I get!

Best Moment This Past Week? Of course I enjoyed every moment I had with family and friends while we were in Illinois. For Blasty, I loved each of the moments where he kicked so that his grandparents could feel him. :)

Movement? YES. ALL THE TIME. AND ALL KINDS of movements. I even feel the "hiccups" now that I was always reading about. Boy, they are weird. I am surprised at how many different types of movements I feel...Some are very sharp and defined while others are widespread and subtle. He is BUSY. We have read about how this time is when they are still small enough to have lots of room to move but big enough so that I feel every movement. What to Expect When You Are Expecting notes: "Babies are actually most active during weeks 24 and 28 when they are small enough to belly dance, somersault, kick box, and do a full aerobic step class in their roomy uterine home." As But even when it hurts or makes me feel uncomfortable or is distracting, I still absolutely love it. It's Blasty!

Symptoms? Pain and discomfort as I mentioned before, occasional shortness of breath, congestion, trouble concentrating, anxiety, acne, and other unmentionables. :)

What I Miss? I don't mean to sound like a broken record but I really miss having sex with my husband. I'm just being honest!!! LOL.

What Am I Looking Forward To? Our check-up tomorrow which includes my glucose test for gestational diabetes (not a fun test but I will feel better when I know if I have it or not), and (hopefully) the ultrasound shortly thereafter. I am anxious to see Blasty again find out how much he has grown!!!

Emotions? Such growing love for little R! (Full name D.R.A.H.) :)

Looking Forward to Seeing My Family

2011-05-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was going through some files and found this photo of Lexi that my sister sent (or was it Tom's sister?) It is a few months old...Lexi is much bigger now with long hair in pigtails, crawling and standing. This will always probably be one of my favorite photos though. I LOVE it. She is so adorable. I like that is taken from an aerial view of such a sweet moment where she is just hanging out with her big bro and daddy. ;-) Only a few more days until I get to see them! Rachel said Logan keeps saying "Uncle Dan and Aunt Eeah!" (He isn't using L's yet...LOL. I don't care. He can call me whatever he wants!) I just can't wait to hug these little munchkins....

Sympathy Pregnancy

2011-05-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

How Far Along? 25 weeks

Baby's Size and Development? 24 oz (...of Widmer Nelson Imperial IPA)

Changes in Me? Gassy. Stopped going to the gym. I've gained 2 lbs. and lost muscle mass.

Maternity Clothes? If by "maternity clothes" you mean the same clothes I've been wearing since high school, then yes.

Sleep? No problems here. Zzzzzz. The king size bed has definitely helped with my slumber.

Best Moment This Past Week? Practicing soothing a baby with 3 month old Nathan at Jason and April's.

Movement? Did I mention I was gassy?

Symptoms? Gassy, lower back pain, fatigue, loss of flexibility.

What I Miss? The days when a placenta wasn't involved in our sex life.

What Am I Looking Forward To? Did I mention the placenta? When is it going to move? Ha ha.

Emotions? Glee when I feel Blasty moving (not the TV show).

Blasty's Very Special Mobile

2011-05-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

[From Wild Child Shop on Etsy]

The mobile arrived!! ;-) After six weeks we had given up hope and the seller, a lovely couple from Munich, Germany, started to make a new one. But suddenly the original arrived! I was so excited! It survived weird shipping with some wear and tear (what was going on...?) but nothing serious and we were able to gently reassemble it. It is a real tree branch with hand folded paper cranes suspended by fishing line. I am just. absolutely. in. LOVE. with. it!

A Birthday Gift for Nexus!

2011-05-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

Saturday is a special day because it is the birthday of my dear friend, Tina, and her grand-daughter, Nexus! I can't believe a year has passed since Pax got himself a little sister, but wow... It has! And HOW CUTE IS SHE? Oh my goodness. Here are a few photos I stole from Jess' profile on Facebook. ;-)

I really wish we still lived close together, but I am used to watching my friends' children grow from afar. We were very spoiled to be a part of Pax's first year of life! I wanted to do something special, and because I actually had a little bit of energy and was feeling creative, I made some handmade envelopes for Tina and Nexus' birthday cards and Dan and I put together Nexus' First Year in Music, a music compilation like we did for Pax for his 1st birthday. Obviously it is something a little more sophisticated for her parents to enjoy, but hopefully it can be kept around (if at all, digitally!) and when she is older she can listen to it and appreciate it. It is surprisingly difficult to find albums released for each month of the year! We are lucky that Jess and Josh like the same kind of music that we do, and that in general they love all types of music! Here is what we came up with:

May 2010: "Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks" from High Violet by The National
June 2010: "Infinity Guitars" from Treats by Sleigh Bells
July 2010: "When I'm With You" from Crazy for You by Best Coast
Aug 2010: "Suburban War" from The Suburbs by Arcade Fire
Sept 2010: "Birds" from Buzzard by Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
Oct 2010: "Constellation" from The Falcon Lake Incident by Jim Bryson featuring The Weakerthans
Nov 2010: "Let It Out" from All Day by Girl Talk
Dec 2010: "Last Night at the Jetty" from Last Night at the Jetty by Panda Bear
Jan 2011: "June Hymn" from The King Is Dead by The Decemberists
Feb 2011: "Undamned" from The Long Surrender by Over the Rhine featuring Lucinda Williams
March 2011: "Under Cover of Darkness" from Angles by The Strokes
April 2011: "Postcard From 1952" from Take Care, Take Care, Take Care by Explosions in the Sky
May 2011: "Helplessness Blues" from Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes

And here is my pretty handmade packaging, with a birthday card by our favorite stationer, the very quirky Red Cap Cards:

Happy Mothers Day!

2011-05-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

The only photo that I have of my grandmothers together: Ethel (Parr) Hendricks, Mary (Hendricks) Hodel, baby Leah, Rachel (Bucher) Hodel, little Rachel, and Martha Parr

The Hodel girls in the 80s

The Hodel girls in the 90s

My mom rockin' a muumuu at 9 months ;-)

And with me on my birthday! xoxo

23 Weeks 3 Days

2011-05-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

[Showing off my half gallon of Tillamook goodness and my belly in my SUPER cool new shirt from Hattie!]

How far along? 23 weeks 3 days

Baby's Size and Development? He's 8 1/2 inches crown to rump, so about 15 inches head to toe. Supposedly he is supposed to have a 6 oz. growth spurt this week (I don't know how they know these things but this is what we read) and I can't help but think I'm not eating enough! In a perfect world, all necessary nutrients for myself and Blasty could be received via a straw from a glass of frothy chocolate goodness. My luv for the chocolate milkshake has expanded into an obsession AND I discovered the Starbuck's whey protein chocolate smoothie tastes just like a chocolate milkshake if you get it without the banana. (This pregnant lady can NOT stand the combination of banana and chocolate. Gross.) With smoothies/milkshakes, cereal, and a constant craving for milk whenever I eat absolutely anything, I am drinking about 2 gallons of milk a week. Blasty should have very strong bones. We also read that this week he is considered "Viable," which I guess means that if something happened and he were removed from the safety of my uterus, he would have a more than 50/50 chance of survival. Wow. Go Blasty Go! Keep growing! (And just stay put for now!)

Changes in Me? A growing belly is pretty much the status quo. :-) No other changes yet, although I'm slowly beginning to feel an overall weight gain. My pants are getting a bit tight in the thighs and I wear my wedding band and engagement ring on a necklace now. And speaking of growing belly, when does one start to get stretch marks? Just curious. My mom said she only had 1 or 2 small ones so I don't anticipate many. Dan gets the fun job of massaging lotion onto my belly to keep my skin from being dry and itchy. It is very sweet. I've been using Burt's Bees Shea Butter & Vitamin E lotion, which has been great albeit a little stinky. It is actually fragrance-free but my pregnant nose thinks it smells like chalky rubber. (OH. The pregnant nose. That is a big change. The smell of most things is really kind of atrocious. This doesn't bode well for my husband who hates to shower. Now if he goes two days without a shower, I'm not quite as interested in snuggling....) I just got new lotion in a care package from Hattie (!!!) and it smells AMAZING. It is the Erbaviva organic belly butter, and I LOVE it! She also sent me Erbaviva refreshing organic foot balm and it smells of wonderful grapefruit, ginger and cypress.

Maternity Clothes? I scored a great Gap maternity dress for upcoming weddings at a resale boutique, and Hattie sent me two new shirts that I love (1 is in the photo above). I'm still holding out for more stuff when I will see April and Megan, but I might have to give in an buy some pants. I thought I would belly-band my way into the 3rd trimester but my thighs are starting to get thicker. :-)

[Another gift from Hattie, a knitted owl! So cute!!!]

Sleep? Yes. Lots of it. I love it. Yum.

Best Moment This Past Week? As I mentioned in my previous post, Dan felt Blasty for the first time!!! It was a wonderful, perfect, intimate moment, and I will always hold it in my heart!

Movement? I feel him every day! No more stretches of time (days...) where he seems to disappear. He is present at all times and I love it. It is wonderful that his kicks and punches are strong enough and frequent enough for Dan to feel, and we can see my stomach move now, too. Kinda weird but so very fun. ;-)

Symptoms? Same as usual...A little fatigue, low back pain, acne....And crying pretty easily at things. ;-)

What I Miss? My friends and family in Illinois! I am so anxious for our trip in 2 weeks!

What Am I Looking Forward To? Finishing the nursery. The closet is finally cleared out and everything is ready for finishing touches, which is great timing because we are starting to get gifts and hand-me-downs. :-) I ordered a mobile from Etsy but it got lost in delivery somewhere between here and Munich, Germany. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they can make us a new one....!

Emotions? A roller coaster. And I'm becoming very, very anxious to meet our little guy. ;-)

[Our paper crane mobile...Isn't it cool? From Wild Child Shop on Etsy]

[First blocks... ;-)]

[A beautiful PPB blanket from Christie. I'm having a hard time accepting that this is for Blasty and not me! LOL]

[Sweet little lambs from Auntie Lorri ;-) and yellow booties and matching cap from Christie, knit by her mother]

[Baby monitors, a diaper pail, and a head-start on diapering, thanks to Christie and Darren!]

Dear Blasty, Please Be Born In August

2011-05-04T10:29:00.001-07:00

I have officially entered what I like to refer to as the "nearing the 3rd trimester freak-out." LOL. The reality of Blasty's arrival is hitting full force and everything is starting to look different and I can't help but feel unprepared. There have been several components to this freak-out and while I think the majority of them have passed, I would not be surprised if something else popped up and kept me going for the ride.

The thing that sparked the freak-out was my second guessing the decision to return to work after Blasty is born. This was something that we figured out very early on in the pregnancy and I stood firm by the decision despite the opinions and comments of others. I told our family in my Week 15 letter:

"I have one particular little birdie in my ear quite often about my decision to return to work after Blasty is born. She has the best of intentions (I believe) in encouraging me to stay at home, but it is becoming a little upsetting because she keeps bringing it up, telling me about the bad side of daycare and emphasizing how I will change my mind when I hold the baby for the first time. Believe me, I always imagined I would be a stay at home mom, so this isn't easy for me but I have to accept it. Dan's company doesn't offer insurance for dependents and mine does. The company pays my entire monthly premium and when the baby is added we will pay a small premium. That is affordable for us, and I feel very lucky to have the good plan that I have with $10 co-pays for all of my visits, ultrasounds, and labs. Even though my entire income will go to the insurance premium and daycare, it is the best solution because we couldn't afford independent insurance premiums and medical bills on Dan's salary alone. So this decision, and having to explain it to people who expect me to stay at home, has been the most difficult one I (and Dan I think) have come across so far! Welcome to parenthood, right?? :)"

Because of our insurance and income situation, the answer seemed clear. Then two weeks ago, a friend casually asked about whether or not I would return to work, and all of the sudden I was on the internet searching for options. I wanted to stay at home. There had to be a way! We made our decision based on the assumption that we would not be able to afford independent insurance premiums, but I never researched what those were. I had no idea what it would cost. I didn't know how to insure a newborn or how I would get back on the state's high risk plan without being wait-listed, but I never even investigated these things. Didn't I owe it to our new family to do the research? That week I became OBSESSED with finding answers. I initially spent an hour looking at the state of Oregon's web site trying to make sense of all of the information before I started crying. It was so overwhelming. Fortunately, a friend gave me the name of an insurance broker and I was able to put all of the research into her hands.

She immediately found out some helpful information for me that put a few pieces of my big, scary insurance puzzle together. We discovered that now that I have group insurance through work, I have portability rights. Therefore, should I lose my job and/or coverage, I am entitled to stay with my insurance company and have several plan choices. This is huge! They can't just drop me and refuse coverage because I have pre-exisiting conditions. WOW~! I never knew it! In fact, the portability rates with my company are far better than the state's high risk pool that I was covered with for several years here in Oregon. Cool!

In the meantime, I met with my boss to discuss my maternity leave. As hard facts were presented, I was disappointed to find out that I will not be able to take as much time as I had hoped (16-18 weeks) but I will at least have 12. Also, coverage for Blasty on my work plan would be much pricier than I thought. Without knowing yet if it was possible, I let her know that I was considering not returning to work. As I told her this, I felt like I was in an alternate reality. I didn't really know if I could stay at home but I was in a real fierce bubble of MAKING IT HAPPEN.

Despite the good news that I could maintain coverage and add a dependent when Blasty was born, the decision still came down to the numbers. While I waited for the broker to get back to me with rates, I started re-working our budget and over-over-over analyzing what to do. I knew without calculating anything yet that staying at home would crunch the life out of our budget and there would be no room for any errors. It seemed a little risky but shouldn't it be worth it? I hemmed and hawed, tugged Dan's ear and then tugged Megan's. Over the weekend, I hit rock bottom. I woke up at 4 a.m. and my mind was racing. I worried, worried, worried. Money. All about money. I cried. Later that day, I crunched the budget again with Dan's input and really looked at our numbers. This is what I should have done in the first place. Sigh. We just don't have enough numbers in our bank account to keep me at home with Blasty. Unless the broker called me up and said, "Surprise! We can cover you and your baby for free!" I cried and cried. Not only did my bubble POP! ...It drenched everything around me. Come Blasty's arrival, our financial situation is changing big time. After painstakingly revising our non-fixed expenses, the numbers leftover STILL didn't add up to much. We are going to be making ends meet on much less than I realized. I felt like SUCH a fool for not facing this reality sooner.

And yet, there is still time to prepare. We still have a few months to gear up and save what we can. I calmed my freak-out by focusing on the silver lining of this cloud: by calling up that broker, we are actually going to save money. She found a better independent insurance rate for Blasty (with the same insurance company, duh) than the one I would pay my company. She will save us $200 a month! Hooray!

But here's the catch, and why I am whispering to Blasty, Please be born in August!

New federal requirements appoint two months out of the year for enrollment for insurance for children under 18. Those months are August and February. This means that if Blasty is born in August, we can have the paperwork submitted ASAP and he will have insurance. If he waits and is born in September, then we can not enroll him until February. How CRAZY is that?! If that happens, we will have to use my company's plan until February. We are going to have to prepare for this scenario just in case.

If Blasty is born in August, he will save his family $1200 in his first 6 months of life. Like, way to go little man!!!

But I can't make him show up on time. So my first lesson learned in my first freak-out of my giant-nearing-the-3rd-trimester-freak-out? There are some things as a parent that we can't control. All we can do is prepare ourselves for the UN-planned. And I feel very fortunate to have a husband and father-to-be that I feel like I can do that with. I think we are a good team. I am very grateful that he was there for me and willing to talk and do whatever I needed to figure this all out.

And he got a little reward for sticking around: first contact with Blasty! In the quiet of the morning on Saturday, I woke up and wiggled across our GIANT bed to snuggle against him. He put his hand on my belly and Blasty gave him a little kick. ;-)

Monday Bullets on Tuesday

2011-04-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

To do:

Register for hospital tours
Install closet organizer
Paint and reupholster our rocking chair (still not done...)
Mail Easter package to the Nef and his Lil Sis
Mail end of April birthday cards!

Contemplating:

Better ways to organize our home. It is weird to have to start finding places for a stroller and car seat, high chair, blankets, toys, etc.
Whether or not to design and make Blasty's birth announcements or just buy/order them
How much I love my husband
How to squeeze in a trip to Arizona during my maternity leave :)

Eating/Craving:

Hubby's homemade chocolate milkshakes
Starbucks chocolate smoothies with whey protein
Chicken strips
Applesauce and cottage cheese

Listening to:

Radiohead

Wearing:

Belly band
Accessories...My clothing choices have dwindled so I'm trying to make up for wearing the same things over and over again by adding jewelry and scarves
My "loungepants" from Loft. I wear them everyday, and believe me, as soon as I am home they are on! Best pair of sweatpants I ever bought!

Addictions:

Before-mentioned hubby's homemade chocolate milkshake
General Hospital
Those "high brow" chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe's
Before-mentioned sweatpants

Missing:

My family and friends

Making:

Soon to be making wedding invitations for Allyson and Marc!
Pillow for Blasty
Easter package for the Nef and his Lil Sis

New favorite names for future baby:

I should mention that we have a name for Blasty and we will share it when he is born. Until then I can tell you what our girl name was going to be:

Mabel

Wish list:

Art: Over 2,500 Works... coffee table book (still)
Bears hoodie (still)
A ring with three stones (for after Blasty is born)
Alphabet poster for the nursery

It's All About the Belly

2011-04-18T17:44:00.001-07:00

How far along? 20 weeks 6 days. I'm over the hump! (No pun intended.) It really IS all about the belly now. People want to touch it and strangers now seem to have a clear signal to ask questions about me and my baby. Weird. But sweet, I guess.

Baby's size and development? According to the stuff I read, he should be about 6 1/2- 7 1/2 inches for the traditional "crown to rump" length, which means probably more like 10 inches from head to toe, and 10-11 ounces! :) Dan has thrown out the produce references and now prefers to equate him with a small squirrel. It is so hard to believe that this little guy started out the size of a poppy seed. Wow.

Changes in me? Um, hello back pain! For crying out loud. Remember last time I said it wasn't that bad? Well, now it is. I can only last about 1/2-1 hour walking or on my feet working on any sort of housecleaning or projects before my back hurts so bad I have to lie down and spend the rest of the day recuperating with heat packs. This is throwing a big annoying wrench in my plan to tackle my To Do list. I think over the past five months I stopped using my abdominal muscles and my back is overcompensating for it. And it's already overcompensating for the weight in my uterus. Speaking of which, it passes my belly button now and continues to grow. I swear I can feel it growing all of the time! And sometimes patches of my abdomen feel so hard I think I have found, and can knock on, Blasty's head. However he isn't big enough yet for me to actually feel where he is and what parts of him are in what places.

We learned at our last ultrasound that my placenta is at the bottom of my uterus. This is known as "Placenta Previa," and it is a "complete placenta previa" because the placenta is completely covering my cervix. The gravity of this condition depends on how far along I am in my pregnancy. So right now, it isn't alarming. I read that 8 out of 10 cases diagnosed by week 20 resolve themselves later in the pregnancy. I am on "pelvic rest" so I am supposed to keep an eye out for any bleeding and avoid strenuous activity such as lifting more than 20 lbs., or agitation or strain in the pelvic region. The perinatologist said it was still OK for us to have sex but our doctor advised against it. He wants me to take every precaution to avoid causing bleeding. The good news is that over time, my placenta is likely to "migrate" farther from my cervix (I learned in my reading that since the placenta is implanted in the uterus, it doesn't actually move, but it can end up farther away as my uterus expands) and I also read that as the placenta itself grows, it's likely to grow toward the richer blood supply in the upper part of the uterus. This is what we will be hoping for because if it continues to stay where it is into my third trimester, I will have further restrictions and things will get a little bit more tricky.

Maternity clothes? Still rockin' the belly band but I'm feeling ready for some actual maternity pants! At the end of the month we are going to visit April and I'm going to have to see if I can borrow some. I'm also planning on pillaging Megan's used goods at the end of May, and in the meantime I am on the hunt for a dress to wear to a wedding. Liz Lange at Target has cute styles but they are either ivory (horribly unflattering for me) or black (can I wear black to a wedding??)

Sleep? Great. Did I mention our new bed? And that Rocco is a big boy now and sleeps on his own in his kennel in the living room??? (Why didn't we do that from the very beginning with him???) :) Yes, I know I have. But it is worth mentioning again. These are good ....Very good things. I might get to experience a small window of great sleep before things get changed by a newborn.

Best moment this past week? Reading to Blasty. Like I said before, Dan has been talking to him but I haven't really. It hasn't come very naturally to me. So I decided to read to him. I happen to have a few board books already because I have been collecting Eric Carle stuff for a long time. I am determined to own every book he has written/illustrated. Blasty LOVED "My Very First Book of Animal Homes." He moved through the entire reading. He quieted for the more plot driven story that followed, "A House for Hermit Crab." :-)

Movement? Still lots of flutters and pops. Now that I feel him regularly it drives me crazy when he stops. He was relatively immobile throughout the entire weekend and I was getting annoyed. LOL. I like to know he's there!!! :) We have determined that he is most active on Mondays. Monday arrived and he moved from 7 am to 10 pm non-stop. I can't wait for when he is bigger and Dan can finally feel him...!

Symptoms? Back pain, round ligament pain, acne, less energy but no longer quite so fatigued.

What I miss? Sex. I'm just being honest. It has been a while. This "pelvic rest" thing is annoying.

What am I looking forward to? Our trip to Illinois. It is only 1 month away! We will have 11 glorious days away from work to just relax and spend time with family and friends. I have been so much more "homesick" than usual ever since I found out I was pregnant. I just can not wait to see my family and friends, hug them, and spend time together.

Emotions? There is a list of emotions in the right hand column on this web page. I feel like I am so hormonal I feel each and every single one of them every day. LOL. What a roller coaster!

New Goodies for My Boy

2011-04-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure had I found out that Blasty was a girl I would have gone on a major shopping spree by now. I mean.....c'mon. Girl clothes....are So. Fun. The DRESSES, alone, people! And the swimsuits? I even had one picked out, just in case. LOL. It is a nice relief, though, to not get caught up in all of it. Because believe me, I would have been Caught. Up.

After five years of buying gender neutral things, it was quite thrilling to walk into a store and go straight to the boy stuff. :) Here are a few things I picked out for Blasty...

BLUE. The first time I've bought something blue!

Uber hip Appaman for Target

Swatches for the blue and green bedding I decided on from Land of Nod and the first bird for Blasty's Audubon bird collection, the Blue Jay. He looks just like Boris!!! :)

now blasty is officially ready for the season. go bears.

Hubby's Birthday Weekend

2011-04-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday was Dan's 34th birthday and I tried to make it extra special ... Because he is so stinkin' awesome and he deserves extra specialness. :)

Friday morning, he had a surprise at his desk at work from Blasty: a big happy birthday balloon, a large mocha chocolate chip frappuccino, and the Strokes' new album, Angles. (Blasty has great taste in music!) Dan is obsessed with track #2 and probably has listened to it a hundred times already. The lucky birthday boy enjoyed a random super sunny day by getting off work early and playing golf with his coworkers. I didn't plan anything that evening because I had a reading to attend at Marylhurst, but he was more than happy to relax on the couch all night with Rocco, watching TV with pizza and beer.

Then came more pizza. :) A LOT more pizza. After another game of golf on Saturday, we met up with Carmen and Lorri and their friends, Chris and Jodi with their 7 month old boy, Ashton, at Apizza Scholls, the BEST pizza restaurant in Portland.

We stuffed our faces full of three pies: 1.) A plain pie with house made sausage and "Mama Lil's goathorn peppers" 2.) The Bacon Bianca, with mozzarella, pecorino romano, fresh garlic and herbs, black pepper and sea salt, olive oil, and house cured bacon 3.) Apizza Amore, a margherita pie with hot capicollo (cured pork shoulder).

After dinner, we went next door to JaCiva's for dessert. Lorri special ordered birthday cakes for Dan and Carmen (his birthday is today). She thoughtfully ordered their favorites: Carmie got chocolate raspberry and Dan got carrot cake.

I made a point to give Dan the WHOLE weekend free of household projects, cleaning, or running a zillion errands. So Sunday morning we got up early and did our grocery shopping quickly so that we were back in time to watch the Masters. In addition to the Strokes album, Dan also scored some other really cool gifts. He got Home Depot and Lowes gift cards from family, a blender from Carmen and Lorri, his favorite Little Debbie Easter Basket Cakes from Hobbes, a splatter shield for his frying pans from Rocco, and a gift card from Wifey to Golfsmith, to help get a new driver! ;)

And although it isn't a birthday present, it was perfect timing when his diaper bag arrived today, a gift from Grampy Jim and Granny Char. It's the Scout bag by Petunia Pickle Bottom, and boy, is it super cool. We sold them at Henny Penny and Dan always thought they were totally cool but he was always thinking more along the lines of a fishing bag. :) It's true. A bottle holder? That'll hold a beer can. The wipes case? Fishing weights and hooks. Hee hee. Because of this, I added it to our registry despite the fact that I always made fun of people who bought PPB diaper bags. Everyone I sold them to seemed a little obnoxious because they were buying it for the "brand," and let's be clear: it's an expensive brand. So, it was kind of ironic that once I registered for Dan's bag, I decided to get myself one, too. I couldn't resist looking at the new designs for women. Since I worked at HP, they came up with four new styles, and I quickly fell in love with the "Sashay Satchel" which kind of reminds me of a bowling bag, but you can adjust it and wear it like a backpack. I picked the Tranquil Tulip pattern. Blasty's mom and pop are going to be carrying around his dirty clothes and diapers in style! Ha ha. :)

Dan's bag came with a changing pad, wipes case, stroller clips, and a dirty clothes bag. It is built to last, so Gramps and Granny can be sure it will see many, many years of fishing. As they wrote in their note, "Dad pick[ed] this out so you could use it as a diaper bag and then keep it forever and fish with Bud (Blasty Under Development) for years to come." ;-)

19 Weeks 1 Day

2011-04-07T19:22:00.001-07:00

How far along? 19 weeks 1 day (At the beginning of 20th week...Half way!!!)

Baby's size and development? Approximately 5-6" long and 8-9 oz.

Changes in me? I have gained another 2 lbs., which doesn't seem like enough because my belly feels so much bigger than it was when they weighed me at our check-up appointment in March! I am moving a little slower and bending over for things is getting uncomfortable. Like tying my shoes? Annoying. I'm glad that as I get bigger the weather will get warmer and I can get away with wearing flip-flops! ;-) As my uterus grows, I am noticing round ligament pain and more lower back pain. It it is nothing too overwhelming, though, and I have been indulging in massages every week to help with that and the chronic pain in my neck and shoulders that is aggravated by working at the computer every day and sleeping on my side.

Maternity clothes? Rockin' the belly band. I keep buying maternity t-shirts, too, because my t-shirts ride up and expose my belly button. I like the way the maternity tops cinch at the sides and accentuate my bump. I'm actually enjoying showing it off. No baggy sweatshirts for me! ;-)

Sleep? Better. Better. Better! For 2 reasons...1.) We moved Rocco and his kennel to the living room at night so his crying or random barks don't keep me up. 2.) OUR NEW KING SIZE BED. Yippeee!!!

Best moment this past week? Hearing Blasty's heartbeat at our appointment yesterday. Every moment with my husband. I adore him and I love this special time we have together before Blasty arrives.

Movement? You betchya! ;-) Flutters and pops. It is getting pretty regular. He is always active while I sit at my desk at work during the day and then I think he nods off in the evening. I read today that "Generally, the baby will be born about 147 days (plus or minus 15 days) from the time the mother first feels the baby move." WOAH. I wasn't sure at the time, but the first official flutter I felt was March 6th! That was really early...I think I was only 15 weeks along. That would mean my "new" due date is JULY 31st (July 17th minus 15 days or August 14th plus 15 days.) It would be crazy if that theory was true because that is over a month early!

Symptoms? All of my typical symptoms have eased up a bit. I have noticed that my nails are growing faster and my hair is a little thicker, which I've read can happen. I'm also definitely more emotional. If I see someone cry on TV, I cry. It doesn't even matter why. LOL.

What I miss? Nothing in particular comes to mind....Maybe I am getting very used to my pregnant existence.

What I'm looking forward to? Celebrating Dan's birthday this weekend. I have some wonderful things planned!!!

Emotions: Truly? All over the place. LOL. The relief and joy were overwhelming last week after our ultrasound. I have also had some sadness and a bit of random anxiety. But I don't feel like any of it is too strong and luckily I have a very sweet husband who listens when I need to talk about it. And my love for him? It just keeps growing. More than I ever thought it could. And my love for this little boy inside of me? It is blooming.

It's a Boy...!

2011-03-30T20:50:00.001-07:00

Finally! March 30th! The day we have had marked on our calendar for our anatomy ultra sound! Oh how I have waited!!! LOL. Dan always said he would want to wait to find out the sex until a baby is born but by the time we saw blasty at our first ultrasound, reality set in and I think he got curious! I am so glad he changed his mind because getting to find out today has been like a giant, mighty reward for all of my hard work growing this little babe. ;)

My hand next to a true-to-life size image of an average baby at 19 weeks. (Today I am 18 weeks and 1 day.)

Not only was today important because we found out the sex, but it was also crucial to check Blasty's growth for two reasons. 1.) One particular blood protein of mine, PAPP-A (or, pregnancy-associated plasma protein) tests too low. My result was 0.17 and they prefer to see 1.0 or greater. This has raised flags for both blood screenings for Downs Syndrome and other severe chromosome disorders. We saw a perinatologist a month ago so he could examine the fluid in Blasty's spine. It was a normal amount, so he said we could generally rule out these disorders but because of my PAPP-A level it keeps a little warning flag raised. It could indicate delayed growth or low fetal birth weight. Today we were very happy to see that Blasty is growing healthy and on target (even 3 days ahead of himself!) 2.) A medication I was taking when I conceived can cause growth malformations, particularly cleft palette or cleft lip. Again, we were so happy and relieved to find out that Blasty's facial growth is normal and all of the right bones and plates have formed accordingly. :)

Blasty's face with his right hand waving :)

We decided to make today extra special by finding out Blasty's sex in a unique way. I got this idea from a couple who came into Spoiled Rotten years ago and did it. When the sonographer examined Blasty's legs and pelvis, we looked away and then had her write down the sex and put it in an envelope for us. After work, we went to the mall and picked out a boy outfit and a girl outfit. We took them to the cashier and gave her our credit card and the envelope. She became the 3rd person to know what we were having! (After the sonographer and our doctor, who teased us! Ha ha.) The suspense was killing me, but it was so much fun!!! She put the right outfit in a big gift box and we took it with us and went out to dinner to celebrate.

We ended up at Asabache, our favorite Mexican restaurant...Blasty had a hankering for tacos. :)

Here we are about to open the box! Our waitress was so sweet and really happy to help out and take some pictures to capture the moment. She genuinely seemed just as excited as we were! LOL.

That looks like our boy outfit! (I love the look on Dan's face!)

A cute little button down shirt just like daddy would wear...!

Alexis' Six Month Photos!

2011-03-25T09:28:00.001-07:00

My sister just uploaded these to Facebook and I had to steal them and share them here. :) I got her that little outfit for Christmas, thinking ahead to Spring. The matching shoes are the best. I can't believe she is already six months old! Time is going so fast! And she will be 1 year old just a few weeks before Blasty is born! :)

Progress on the Nursery

2011-03-24T17:23:00.001-07:00

I wasn't going to share photos of the nursery until we were completely done (I believe it is called "the big nursery reveal" in our modern blogging world) but that could be a while, so oh well. There is nothing wrong with showing our slow progress. And Dan has been hard at work so I want to share what he has accomplished! ;-)

The walls are finally painted (gray) and the pictures are hung above the crib (thanks Gayle!) We fell in love with the framed animal photographs by Sharon Montrose, but to save some money, we made our own instead. We used pages out of our coffee table book, Creature by Andrew Zuckerman, and inexpensive frames from IKEA. It was fun picking and choosing the photos together. There are some definite Dan favorites in the mix that I wouldn't have picked but I'm positive make them more fun. :)

I am earning gift cards to Babies R Us by being in a medical research study, so with my first gift card I bought a basket for Blasty's (already large) stuffed animal collection. I was going to get another basket for his/her books, but Dan was surprisingly opinionated and thought that putting books in a basket was weird. LOL. So, I am considering a.) using the extra dresser space or buying a shelf to stack them upright with bookends (we have two little guys picked out here) or b.) making a cool little book sling like this one. We'll see if I have the energy for the latter!

Other new additions are the curtains, rug, and dresser, all from IKEA. Dan just finished building the dresser and we will use it for a changing station, and boy, am I glad we decided to get it! We were just going to get a changing stand, but this way I have all those drawers for storage.

Still to do: Bedding. I was planning on making it, with Melissa's help, but I'm stalling. I like what we picked out but I have had a "dream" bedding set in the back of my mind all along ... I will share a photo of it, but please don't research it because you will find it is really expensive. LOL. It is a designer label AND organic, so you know, pricey. Why do I have such expensive taste?! Anyway, I am still up in the air about whether or not it is gender neutral, too. Dan thinks it could go either way but I have only seen it in the context of a girl's room. So, we'll see. I can get it on Ebay for half the retail price....

A Whole Bunch of Random Stuff

2011-03-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday night we went over to Carmen and Lorri's. Top 5 reasons I love going to their house?

1.) Lorri's cooking. That night she made me (because it is all about ME when it comes to food now) an amazing plate of 5 spiced beef short ribs (slow cooked over night) over sushi rice with a side salad of cucumbers and oranges.
2.) Magazines. They know I love magazines so they always have a little stack of magazines next to my spot! (We all have our spots where we sit, you know, out of habit.)
3.) Did I mention Lorri's cooking? Well, she also always makes dessert! That night we had a homemade key lime mousse parfait. Yum! And Carmen also always has the latest quirky and obscure but wonderful snacks and new micro brews.
4.) Ralphie. I wish I had a photo of him but I just realized I don't. He is their handsome snuggle-bunny Pomeranian. So cute!
5.) Lorri and Carmen, of course! Such dear friends. ;-)

This my friend, Shane, who is the most wonderful barista ever. We met years ago over an iced mocha. While Dan was in Phoenix a few weekends ago, I went with Shane to a matinee of Red Riding Hood. Oh yes, it's true. Um, I don't exactly recommend it. I expected some bad writing and okay acting so I wasn't surprised to have a little bit of both. I thought I was going to be able to figure out who the "wolf" was--but I didn't! So I at least got into the mystery of it. And Amanda Seyfried is really pretty to look at. I was just happy to be out with a friend and at the movies with my little box of popcorn. What better movie to go see that Dan wouldn't mind missing?

After the movie I treated myself to a trip to the library and a milkshake made with gelato. I took a photo of all of my colorful and tasty choices, but now I can't find it. I chose cookies and cream. I spent some lazy time reading magazines by the fireplace and then checked out Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options, Discover the Natural Choices, and Take Back the Birth Experience (associated with Ricki Lake's documentary The Business of Being Born, which I highly recommend), The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy, and From Conception to Birth: A Life Unfolds, a beautiful book of photographs with scientific notes perfect for Dan. :)

While Dan was away, I also spent a day with Gayle. We hit up IKEA (I got curtains and a rug for the nursery) and then she helped me with our artwork project in the nursery. We had nine frames to hang and they all had to be lined up perfectly, which is no small feat that I knew Dan wasn't excited about doing. I planned to go all Martha Stewart on the project with measurements and taping, but Gayle and I quickly ditched that for an "eyeball it" approach and it didn't actually end up taking us very long! We ended up ordering pizza and watching a movie.

And this is where I spend my time, curled up on the couch with Rocco (and usually Hobbes but he didn't make this photo.) Usually I have a heating pad or milkshake or both.

As far as exercising....I haven't gone to yoga in months and I stopped going to the gym every day after work. Actually, I stopped going to the gym entirely. I haven't been meeting with my trainer to save some money and I haven't found much motivation to go on my own. Walking on the treadmill bores me because I can't go very fast. I'm not supposed to let my heart rate go higher than 140 bpm. In the beginning of my pregnancy, I was walking Rocco on my lunch break when the weather permitted, but that has also fallen by the wayside. I am much more interested in that little cushy spot on the couch!

Part of me feels outrageously guilty for not exercising. I know it is the #1 tool at my disposal for keeping my mood stabilized, and it is so important for my overall health. But another part of me is just too darn exhausted to care! I kept thinking, once I am in my 2nd trimester I'll get some energy back...but it hasn't happened and I'm half way through it. I bought a prenatal exercise video so I am going to give that a try this weekend. I will entice myself with the reward of a bubble bath and extra large milkshake. So if you're reading this, keep me accountable. Ask me if I did it!! ;0)

16 Weeks 3 Days

2011-03-20T21:03:00.001-07:00

How far along? 16 weeks 3 days

Baby's size and development ? About 5" long and 4 oz.

Changes in me? Well, apparently my uterus is approaching my bellybutton—and geez, do things feel tight in there. I don't know how our bodies manage to reconfigure all of our little goodies like major organs and such to make room for such an eventually large item as a full-term baby and placenta. Wow!! Needless to say, I'm feeling the stretch. :o) My muscles ache and I have been getting more "butterfly" feelings.

Maternity clothes? That's an official maternity top in the photo above. Oh my goodness, it is so comfy. I think the time has come for some sort of belly band or waistline adjustment gadget. I do OK in my pants but twice I have ended up wearing home Gayle or Lorri's flannel pajama pants after dinner at their place. Ha ha!

Sleep? Yuck. Still yuck. But we are working on it. I bought another pillow designed for sleeping on your side, and it ended up making me feel worse. I kept waking up with earaches because the neck ridge and firmness of the pillow were smashing my ears. I went back to my regular pillow and that is better. We will FINALLY be getting a king size bed soon (I have been dreaming of this moment for so long...) and our new bed will have a pillowtop cushion that is going to help absorb my hip and shoulder pressure points. Hallelujah. I will have much more space, too, so we got me a 2nd body pillow (navy blue...I call it "Midnight Blue.") I decided to get a 2nd one so that when I roll over in the middle of the night, I don't have to wrestle with the covers as I bring my body pillow with me to the other side. So, soon and very soon I will be in a KING SIZE BED sandwiched by Sleepy Pickle and Midnight Blue. It will be wonderful. I can't wait to tell you all about it. Ha!

Best moment this past week? I have to say it might actually be when that photo was taken. When Dan was out of town last weekend, I had a plan to have a slow cooker meal ready so that he wouldn't have to cook on his first day back. In case you are new to this blog, I DO NOT COOK but luckily my husband DOES. And he LIKES it. However everyone enjoys a break once in a while, right? Unfortunately among other grand plans I had for surprising him, preparing dinner didn't happen. So this weekend, before we left for dinner at Carmen and Lorri's, I took a little time the to prep some vegetables for a roast to cook all day today. Better late than never, right? :o) It made me feel very happy to do this for him....And it turned out great. Tonight Dan had the night off and we enjoyed an italian flavored beef roast with potatoes, celery, tomatoes, and carrots.

Movement? Nothing since the twitching I felt two weeks ago! However at my last massage session while I was on my stomach (for the last time I think!) there were some butterflies and again today a few tiny flutters. I'm anxious for more aggressive bonks and nudges, just so I know he's there. :o)

Symptoms? Everything is pretty much the same as before: Lots of annoying mucus. Frequent urination. Fatigue. Some constipation. Acne. Headaches.

What I miss? This week in particular I missed beer. Work days have been tough as my body is getting increasingly uncomfortable sitting at my desk all day long. I came home Friday and was so jealous to see Dan sipping an ice cold beer. When I complained that I can no longer unwind with a beer, too, he made me a chocolate milkshake. I think he could tell by the enormous grin on my face as I sucked it through the straw that it was helping me unwind. ;o)

What I'm looking forward to? 10 DAYS. 10 DAYS PEOPLE! 10 DAYS UNTIL WE FIND OUT IF BLASTY IS A BOY OR GIRL. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Emotions: Crabby....I'm ashamed to say. I have the miracle of life happening inside of me and I have been soooo crabby! But also full of love. I have never loved my husband more. He is so supportive and patient with my crabbiness. And I am so honored to be growing his child. It sounds SO corny to write that, but it is true. I have a deep emotion of pride and love because of it.

15 Weeks 1 Day

2011-03-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

How far along? 15 weeks 1 day

Baby's size and development ? About 4" long and 3 oz.

Changes in me? I have gained 7 lbs! Holy moly!

Maternity clothes? My belly is swelling, for sure. I am in the position of being able to choose whether or not I want to "look" pregnant. :) If I wear a top that is fitted, I can really accentuate the tiny bump, or I can just wear loose tops and appear normal. Like I said in a post before, I bought a few tops, and I will probably have to buy some pants or a belly band in the next two weeks. For the most part though, I am counting on April and Megan to supply me with cute maternity clothes! :)

Sleep? Yuck. I still wake up to pee every two or three hours. I am trying not to drink as much fluids at night in order to avoid this. I am also trying to sleep on my side but it is so hard!!! Because of chronic pain in my shoulders and neck, I trained myself to sleep on my back a year ago and now I love it. I read that lying on my back will put the weight of my uterus on a major artery and inhibit circulation. That might explain why I wake up with my hands and arms asleep. To try to make sleeping on my side more comfortable, we bought me a body pillow ($10, thanks IKEA...except it came with a neon green case. WTF? I named it "Sleepy Pickle.") It helps but I find myself wanting to get another one, so that I have support at my back. All the more reason for a king size bed!!! ;)

Best moment this past week? Hm...There were so many! 1.) Hearing blasty's heartbeat today at the Dr's office. Fast and strong!!! :) 2.) My massage last night. I did NOT want to leave that table when my hour was up! 3.) Surprise phone call in the middle of the day from Megan...I was feeling crummy and she made me laugh! 4.) Seeing the nursery after Dan finished painting the walls. It looks like a brand new room!!!

Movement? I MAY have had my first feeling. While Dan was painting on Sunday, I took a nap on the couch. I woke up and switched from my left side to the right, and I felt something in my abdomen, similar to if a muscle was twitching. It was brief and I haven't felt anything like it since, so I don't know if it was blasty. But I like to think so. :)

Symptoms? Lots of annoying mucus. Frequent urination. Fatigue. Some constipation. Acne. Headaches.

What I miss? Having energy! I let it get me a little depressed the past two weeks and I stopped going to the gym and taking Rocco for walks.

What I'm looking forward to? I'm NOT looking forward to dropping Dan off at the airport tomorrow, but I AM looking forward to having the day off and getting a long weekend. I am hoping to pull off some sort of neat project while he is away. I like surprising him. And he has been working so hard around the house, he deserves something special. What should I do....?

Emotions: Same as before....Pretty zen but occasionally overwhelmed and a little lonely.

♥

I filled this survey out several weeks ago but forgot to share it. Here it is if you want a comparison...!

How far along? 10 weeks 1 day

Baby's size and development ? 1" long and will be 2" long at the end of this week. He is growing fast now!

Changes in me? I have gained 3 lbs since we found out but no real "show" yet. Unless you count a bloated belly.

Maternity clothes? Nope, not yet. But I took some new pants to the dry cleaners to get hemmed and developed a crush on the girl working, who happens to be 31 weeks. She informed me that you can get away with wearing regular pants unbuttoned if you wear a "belly band."

Sleep? I wake up every two hours to go to the bathroom. Rocco has been crying in his kennel and keeping me up as well. It's like he is giving me practice.

Best moment this past week? Seeing blasty's heart beat again. Telling "our story" to Jess and also telling Melissa I was pregnant. :)

Movement? Nope, I think I have a long way to go with this. With his limbs formed and muscle control, he IS moving now but too small for me to feel it.

Symptoms? Frequent urination. Fatigue. Occasional nausea/sensitivity to smell. Bloating and poor appetite. Poor circulation. Tender breasts. Acne. Nightly headaches.

What I miss? Enjoying food.

What I'm looking forward to? Our next appointment when Dan and I will both get to see blasty again and maybe hear his heartbeat! :)

Emotions: Pretty zen but occasionally overwhelmed and a little lonely.

Little Swimmers

2011-03-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how fast these two are growing!!!

Some Reasons Why I Have the Greatest Hubby Ever

2011-03-02T16:15:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time (seriously...I really long time) since we have had company in our home. After Terrah moved out in May, Gayle has stopped by once or twice to watch a football game or have a drink, Andy came down from Ft. Lewis for a weekend, and Carmen stopped by to help us get our TV up and running. Other than that, nada.

This fact, combined with my pregnant status and Dan's sympathy pregnancy status, means that we are very lazy and haven't really cleaned house much at all for a long time. Don't get me wrong: we take care of the necessities; the garbage goes out, the dishes get done, laundry somehow finds a way through the washer and dryer. It may not get folded for two weeks, or ever put away, but it gets clean. :)

The messiness of the house seems to have been growing in direct proportion to my loneliness. I have always struggled with feelings of loneliness, but they have struck an entirely new chord now that I am pregnant. Now I am not just lonely, I am lonely and pregnant. Waah waah. One particular evening I couldn't seem to shake the blues, so I asked Dan to clean our bedroom with me. I'm sure it was not on the top of his list of things to do after a long day at work, but he agreed. BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME. And while I started in the bedroom, HE TACKLED THE MASTER BATHROOM. I HATE cleaning bathrooms! So we spent a good hour dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing, and wiping away all the dirt and grime that had accumulated the past ....many months. And I have to tell you IT FELT SO GOOD. Lol!

This Sunday Gayle and Abbie were coming over to watch the Oscars with us, so we finally tackled the great mess in the rest of the house. Dan started cleaning the bathroom (AGAIN! THE BATHROOM!) and I began trying to find proper homes for piles of junk in the living room. Something took me to the nursery and it dawned on me that Gayle and Abbie might want to see it. I got SO excited at the prospect of sharing everything with them! I started tidying up the room and organizing the piles of clothing, blankets, and books that I have unpacked. By the time I was done (sometimes you just have to stop and marvel at how cute things are or the tiny sizes!) Dan had pretty much finished everything else.

About an hour later, he told me they had to cancel. I was so disappointed. Later that night, I ended up telling Dan that I was sad to not get to show the nursery to them. I don't remember if I cried, but it is entirely possible that I did. :) Because he is THE MOST SWEETEST MAN IN THE WORLD, he asked, "Do you want to show it to me?" So we went to the room and he pretended to see everything for the first time and share in my joy over each and every little thing: The little booties, board books, burp clothes, and stuffed animals... The blankets my mom sent us that were made by my grandmothers, Rachel and Ethel... The art Dan and I picked out together and framed. Our funky rocking chair, fabric swatches, and paint colors. I talked over ideas about how to arrange the room. He was more than a good sport about the whole thing. :)

He also pointed out that while I don't have my family and close friends here to share things with, I do have this blog. So I hope you don't mind if I keep showing these things and talking about them because it makes me happy to share.

...And did I mention his chocolate milkshakes? Oh yeah. Well, it's worth another mention. He uses Tillamook ice cream, only the best brand on the planet.

Monday Bullets

2011-02-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

*
(The last time I did "Monday Bullets" was Dec. 8 2008!)

To do:

Get birthday cards for my March lovelies!
Download new Radiohead album. Why do I keep forgetting to do this??
Sleep
Eat
Sleep
Eat
Paint and reupholster our thrift store find-a rocking chair for the nursery!

Contemplating:

Boy girl boy girl boy girl boy girl
How much I love my husband
What's with the crib bumper thing? If it isn't safe, why are they sold in all the crib sets?

Eating:

Hubby's homemade chocolate milkshakes
Honeycombs
Miniature Oranges
French fries
Toasted english muffins with peanut butter

Listening to:

Wearing:

Sweater cardigans
Sweatpants (But not out in public, of course)
New Romika shoes!

Addictions:

Before-mentioned hubby's homemade chocolate milkshake
General Hospital
Nursery decor
Top Chef

Missing:

My family and friends
Mochas
NOT having to pee every 20 minutes
Beer
Working at Henny Penny :)

Making:

Crib bedding
Plans for several trips in the next couple of months
Framed art for nursery
Gift registry for Blasty

New favorite names for future baby (This is quite relevant! I won't be giving away my actual boy or girl favorite, but here are some on the back-up list:)

Mae
Eli
Josephine

Winter wish list:

Art: Over 2,500 Works... coffee table book
Bears hoodie
A KING SIZE BED!
The Little Prince pop-up book for Blasty :)

Getting Started on the Nursery

2011-02-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

I trust there is never a good time to take a photo of yourself when you are pregnant. This was the best that I could do. ;) Can you tell how tired I am? LOL.

I am in the middle of week 13 and I have a teeny tiny bump. Not enough that it is super noticeable, but enough that I don't need to wear a belt anymore and my pants are certainly starting to feel tight. So here is my first question: When should I buy maternity pants? They totally already sound more comfortable at this point, but won't I have to buy new ones the bigger I get? Or are there pants that grow with you? Please advise.

Dan took this photo in our nursery, where we have some paint samples up on the wall. Last weekend he fixed our ceiling light/fan and installed a dimmer switch as well as put the crib together and cleared out enough space to get it into the room. This was a busy weekend, too. We cleared out more stuff so that I was able to move the crib around and figure out where I want to put it and a few other furniture pieces. Dan put paint samples on the wall and I started taking out some items from my future-baby boxes. Boy, did the reality really sink in fast! I started crying!! LOL. Poor Dan had no idea what was going on. He thought it was something he said, but it was more the overwhelming realization that our baby was no longer in my imagination. He or she is real, and growing inside me every day. Standing in the room that I always imagined would be a nursery and seeing it start to truly become one was exciting yet scary! I just want Blasty to keep growing and be strong and safely greet us in six months. ;)

Today we found a rocking chair at the thrift store that Dan is going to refinish and I will reupholster. We settled on artwork and bought frames, and picked out fabric for the crib bedding! This is a MAJOR accomplishment because I have searched for crib bedding since the day I found out we were pregnant....We went to every store in Portland and I spent hours online, to no avail. I AM SO PICKY! Of course anything that I DID like was horribly expensive, so after I saw Melissa made her set, I asked her if she would help me. Dan and I went to the coolest fabric store in Portland, Cool Cottons, and I am so happy with what we found:

This will be the bumper fabric and the sheets will be ivory. We have two other fabrics picked out for the skirt, depending on the sex of the baby. As for a blanket, I haven't quite decided yet if I will use the owl fabric again or just do ivory. I like the idea of doing ivory and adding some embroidered text or something. I don't know...We'll see. I'm just so happy to have found a starting point! Thank you to my wonderful, adorable, supportive husband, who is clearly my lucky charm when it comes to finding things!

Blasty: Part II Sharing the News

2011-02-18T15:55:00.000-08:00

The next few days following our surprise test results were ....surreal. I definitely feel like finding out I was pregnant was the most surreal experience I've ever had. Despite the fact we had been waiting and trying for so long, I was shocked! LOL. I woke up every morning at the crack of dawn and laid there, poking Dan until he woke up. I just kept thinking, I'm pregnant. Oh my heck!!!

So I was up early on Christmas Eve and ready to go! I told my sister the news first. I messaged her and said we sent her a present from Amazon and she should check her email to make sure she got it. Of course, there was no present and the email had the photo of our positive pregnancy tests. :)

That evening I had her wait until we were Skyping to give my mom her 2011 calendar, pretending I wanted to see it. She was busy holding Lexi, so my dad was flipping through it, showing us the photos Rachel used of Logan and Lexi for each month. She also added a photo of each family member on their birthday and anniversary. When they reached September (we didn't know an official due date yet, so I was guessing...) my sister had written something like "birth of grandbaby #3." My dad read it aloud and showed it to my mom, then held it up to the screen and asked us, "Did you guys know about this!?" My mom turned around to look at Tom and Rachel, and Rachel said "Don't look at us!" At which point, my mom turned around to look at us and shrieked "Are you pregnant?!!??!" I cried "Yes!" and we all laughed as my mom continued shrieking and started crying.

Luckily, Dan was able to record it. I have watched it several times already. My mom cracks me up and the giant grin on my dad's face is priceless.

On Christmas day, Dan told Doug and then we surprised Jim & Char when we Skyped. Dan bragged a little about what I got him for Christmas, holding up his shoes and golf towel for them to see, and then had me show them what he got me: A super cute little onesie. Char mused that it was very cute, and when I said "It's for the baby," she said "What baby?" And I explained, "Our baby." Silence. "Your grandbaby." More silence. This had to sink in...!!! And then Dan said, "I got her pregnant for Christmas," at which point Char really got it! "Oh my gosh!!!!" And after answering some questions, Dan had to check in with his dad, "Are you okay, dad?" He had been quiet and perfectly still the whole time. He was waiting to make sure we weren't playing a trick on them! Nope! Not this time! :) Blasty was our real little Christmas miracle.

I think Dan actually googled how long to wait to tell people you were pregnant. Somehow we came to the decision that we would wait until the end of the first trimester. Our families respectfully agreed to keep quiet. But boy, is that easier said than done! Oh my heck! I woke up the next morning with an overwhelming need to tell my girlfriends. I convinced Dan, and then continued to convince him, slowly, over the next few weeks, why it was OK to tell so and so, and then so and so. :) Officially, during the first trimester, quite a few people knew: Grandma, Aunt Mary, Aunt Connie, Aunt Joan, Dan & Tina, Josh & Jess, Allyson, Hattie, Sarah, Nick & Megan, Kevin, Art & Andra (we found out they were pregnant first!) We saw a few friends in person here in Oregon, who knew either because I wasn't drinking or because I couldn't keep the secret while looking at them straight in the face. So, pretty early on my coworkers, Matt & Gayle, Peter & Angela, Patrick & Teressa, Andy, and Carmen & Lorri found out. LOL. By 10 or 11 weeks I was getting really antsy. I think I ended up telling Melissa, Amy, Corey, Kate, and of course, April, when we visited.

Finally, come Valentine's Day, I reached 12 weeks. Our parents were free to share the news with everyone and anyone, and we put the word out on Facebook. And waiting was worth it to get to celebrate all over again with so many people online. The messages and comments of joy and congratulations were wonderful and overwhelming!!! :)

Some of my memories of sharing our news have become top favorite memories of all time.

Blasty: Part I Finding Out

2011-02-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

This is our baby, who we affectionately refer to as "Blasty." When we discovered we were pregnant, I was about 4 weeks along and Dan learned that the baby was at the stage of being a "blastocycst." Blasty! The photo above was from our first ultra sound when he (or she) was six weeks. His head is at the top of the uterus, with a little lima bean-like body below.

So how did this happen?!? (More importantly, how did I keep it a secret!??! LOL.)

After the future-baby making post on December 11th, we hit a tail-spin. I used an ovulation test kit the first two weeks of the month but we never had a positive. It is hard to even describe how disappointing that was.

On the 16th, I met with the fertility nurse for a consultation required by my insurance company. They follow a series of steps before referring patients outside the network to fertility clinics. She quickly assured me that my doctor planned to refer me right away. However, the final steps I needed to take were: 1) have Dan's paperwork sent to my office and 2) Check my fallopian tubes. First of all, Dan didn't have any paperwork. :) We never had his reproductive capabilities checked! And second, I found it slightly absurd that they wanted to check my tubes. I CAN'T MAKE EGGS. I wasn't interested in my tubes! Besides, they were going to classify the procedure, a standard hysterosalpingography (HSG), as a fertility procedure, so my insurance would only pay half. It was going to cost us about $1000.

$1000 to check my tubes. When we knew I couldn't even make an egg. So that my doctor could refer me to a fertility specialist to address the egg problem, with more expensive and aggressive treatments. No thanks.

And that was it. It was like realizing the road was a dead end. We decided not to do the HSG, but we had Dan get his sperm tested. Of course the sperm were perfect. At that point, the two of us began to see things differently. I was exhausted. Dan wanted me to see what the naturopath had to say and try treatment for at least six months. I was wary of doing anything else to my body and afraid that I couldn't handle it emotionally. I felt like I had already gave so much. I was ready to move onto adoption. I ordered an informational packet from a local agency.

A week after the fertility consultation, on December 23rd, I took a pregnancy test.

When I look back on this, I am struck at the irony. I didn't need to take one. I didn't ovulate, and there was still another 5 days or so that I could start a period on my own. I was just in the habit of ending each cycle by taking one so that I could verify I wasn't pregnant and begin the next round of medicine. Somewhere, deep inside, I must have known. Because there wasn't going to be another round of medicine. We were done!

I left work early that day and spent that afternoon on the couch...I had cramps and was starting to wonder if I was getting a bladder infection. There was some pressure and discomfort, and I had to go to the bathroom all the time. I spent two hours on the phone with Hattie, agonizing about the whole journey and worrying about what to do next with Dan and I in disagreement. After our talk, I ran errands and picked up some stuff at the store, including a test. When I got home, I ran in the bathroom and took it, hardly even paying attention to the results. What I noticed was that it changed right away. I didn't even know what the result meant. Then I read the directions. And I started shaking. Why did I have a positive?

I immediately told Dan to go to the store and buy another test. Buy two or three. Get different brands. Get expensive ones! I thought I had a false positive and I needed to know for sure ASAP. So, off he went. He came back to find me pounding back glasses of water and on the phone with my mom. She called while everything was happening, so I called her back to talk and keep my mind off of what was actually happening. About a half hour later, I had to pee. I ended the call with my mom and returned the bathroom with two tests. One was the same brand and the other was a fancy digital one. After I used them, I walked back to the living room and informed Dan that you aren't supposed to drink a lot of water and then take a test. It can dilute the results. We were probably going to get a negative, but we wouldn't know if it was accurate. Right? This was all crazy! I couldn't stop shaking! I went back to the bathroom and glanced at the tests.

Wow. I'm really pregnant.

Congratulations to Jason and April....Again!

2011-02-16T15:20:00.000-08:00

It's another Boy!

Nathan William
Born February 9, 2011
10:34 pm
8 lbs. 9 oz.
21.5 inches

[Proud parents!]

[Proud siblings!]

[Proud friends! :)]

Back to Herzing Luv!

2011-02-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

Anticipating daycare fees and adding diapers to the grocery list, I am in the process of reworking our budget and unfortunately one expense that I cut was Typepad. It's not much, about $15/mo, but that adds up, and I decided I could blog on Blogger again, which is free. There is some transitional work to do that makes it a bit of a headache, so bear with me as I try to move all my Second Wind posts over and fix broken links or images. Another bummer is that I will lose the photo albums I worked so hard on, but I am also in the process of moving everything from those and our Flickr account to Picasa. Anyway, from here on out: Herzing Luv is home. I promise to never move again. Unless there is a really good reason. Ha ha. :)

christmas post-production:

2011-02-15T19:45:00.001-08:00

the tree came down today and we also tag-teamed finally cleaning the giant mess that accumulated over the past two weeks. having two long weekends together was wonderful but especially lazy and messy.

losing the tree was bad news for hobbes, who enjoyed hiding behind the foliage, but he got a giant pet bed for christmas and now spends every waking second blissfully curled up in the middle of it. rocco also scored a pet bed (the original bed was for him but hobbes liked it so much i got another one.) as well as a kennel and a seat belt harness. it is an enormous understatement to say that rocco needs to brush up on his behavioral skills. more about that another time.

we did pretty good for christmas gifts this year. we kept it super small, but still had fun. for family and a few close friends, we delivered homemade caramel corn, pecan tarts, and turtles. and gift cards. god bless gift cards. :) i gave dan new golf shoes, a deschutes brewery golf towel, a ninkasi brewery hoodie, and santa put a pack holy smoke coffee from sisters coffee company in his stocking for christmas morning. i lucked out BIG time. hubby got me an ipod nano so i can listen to music while working out at the gym, a beautiful calendar for my office at work, and some magazines and munchies. :)

i had the most fun sending gifts to the nef and his lil sis. first i sent a package for them to open december 1st, that had an advent calendar, christmas sweaters, ornaments, and a christmas book (dream snow by eric carle) and dan and i made a recording of us reading the book to them, complete with a ringing bell when they need to turn a page. for christmas eve, we sent more gifts; books, baby moccasins and a cute outfit for spring for lexi, and an oregon beavers jersey for logan.

christmas cards were sent on time this year, with what, i think, is my favorite of our photo strips. i printed an extra one for our fridge and every time i look at it i smile. we sure did have a lot of fun in 2010. and there are already many plans in the works for this year. i have a lot of traveling, home improvement projects, and beaucoup de herzing luv to write about and share photos of this year.

here’s to 2011….! xoxo

enjoying drinks and spontaneous dancing at our neighborhood mcmenamins.

the nef and lil sis glam up for christmas:

2011-02-15T19:41:00.001-08:00

the weekend we got a tree and a couch:

2011-02-15T19:40:00.001-08:00

we lucked out with a beautiful day for tree shopping just like last year. we went to the same neighborhood but a different farm. dan met the owner through work, and she greeted us with her dog, abbie, a pointer who we later fround frozen in pose next to the chicken coop. dan let me cut down the tree this year, probably because it was just my size. last year’s tree, sir noble fir, was quite robust, and this lil’ guy, noble fir junior, is a natural form tree. which, according to dan, is the way that a tree should be grown---never sheared (which is what people do to create the dense appearance we all know (and like). so yes, this is the “natural” way but it also has a bit of the “charlie brown” look. and that’s okay! we love it! without further ado, please meet jimmy, our 2010 tree, all dressed up and ready to go out on the town:

unfortunately our camera could not even begin to conceive of how to take a photo of a christmas tree in a dark room. no matter what setting i chose, the lights were too bright and blurry. the magical gnomes returned with other merry felted creatures, and a new one appeared…florence, a little elephant traveling through christmasland in a balloon…

after we got jimmy settled in, we went downtown to west elm and picked up our couch!!! we made the decision at last(!) and we are 100% happy with our choice. the guy who helped us was super cute and gave us a 10% discount just because he was also super nice. (he called it a new design discount or something…he said we had to pretend we were decorating our first home. sure! i’ll pretend!) the funniest thing about this couch, now that we have it, is that we love it so much we can’t figure out why we had such a hard time deciding! lol. it is super comfy and long, which is exactly what we wanted. and little did we know how much hobbes and rocco would like it. (note hobbes below, already sitting on it before we removed the plastic wrap.) in fact, he sat on it all night, and when i came home for lunch, there he was. and then again later when we got home from work. he couldn’t get enough of it! rocco is quite taken with the chaise, in particular. he brings all of his toys to the chaise and sits with them.

with a 10% discount, i also thought we should pick up a coffee table while we were there. i researched couches for four months, narrowed them down, we visited them, and we visited this couch four times over two months before finally deciding to get it. i could NOT make up my mind! then i took one look at a coffee table and bought it. there is no method to my madness. so pray for dan because there are more choices to be made: curtains, wall paint color, chairs, hardwood flooring, lamps, etc. we’re going to be busy this year. :)

now that i have a coffee table for the first time, i have no idea what to put on it. lol. i do have a coffee table book stored away somewhere (i remember when i got it i knew i had no use for it but dreamt i would have a table one day). for now i’m using the front shelf for all of the holiday cards we get, and the back shelf has our remotes and the laptop…i will have to devise some aesthetically pleasing storage solutions. :) …and our “centerpiece” for now are these little candles i got at pottery barn. which one is your favorite???

the ugly sweater party:

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the family photo…this is the one where rocco looks sweet in his little ugly sweater…

and this is the one where he looks evil. :)

all the other doggies wore sweaters, too! that is ali’s dog, odin, wearing her ali's dad’s sweater in the new hip style for large dogs, with the front sleeves rolled up all loose and cool. and one of the things that i love about ali’s house is the little touches of arty soul. :) i spied handmade paper trees, angels and snowflakes, and popcorn strung with ornaments.

despite the christmas accoutrements, this party was for anthony’s birthday! ((i thought those two photos next to each other were funny because they are both hanging out with their dogs, in ugly sweaters, drinking beer.) anthony had the BEST sweater and i hate that i didn’t get a better photo of it! there is an amazing choo choo train on the back!!!

the whole merry crew around the birthday boy. the dog at the top is totally the best part.

future-baby making: month thirteen

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so, the past seven weeks have been very difficult.

my blood work in october showed an abnormally low level of progesterone indicating i did not ovulate despite a surge on my home test kit. my doctor gave me an rx for the maximum dose of clomed to use the next cycle but then i didn’t start.

my new doctor did a whole lot of “well, gee whiz.” “boy, i don’t know!” “gee, i wonder why you can’t ovulate?” “hmmm.” “huh.” he had me schedule an appointment with the fertility nurse, who i couldn’t get an appointment with for two months. at my suggestion (from past experience) he prescribed progesterone to make me start. it was day 40, after all.

after ten days of provera, i started. and it was a mess. i mean, there was a lot of blood. i was changing a super tampon every half hour for three god awful days (which made traveling especially fun). i was exhausted. and i was really emotional.

i couldn’t even talk about it anymore.

i started reading a blog by another woman who has PCOS and her journey with infertility. and she had links to other blogs, who had links to others….suddenly a whole community of infertile couples revealed itself online. (it started here.)

and i realized: we are an infertile couple. i mean, it is kind of official at this point.

and i felt angry.

i finally said out loud to dan: “it’s not fair.” instead of trying to make me feel better, he simply agreed. it isn’t. we are beautiful people with a loving relationship who want to have our own child. and we can’t make it happen.

i began to have the sort of thoughts and emotions that i swore i absolutely never would. i was jealous and irrational. the thought of hearing someone else got pregnant freaked me out. i started to dread the baby shower i was invited to. i regarded anyone who tried to comfort me with utter contempt.

“it’ll be ok” or “it’ll happen!”

“look at so and so,” or, “look at me, it happened!”

i thought if i heard the story where “the couple who were trying to get pregnant finally stopped trying and got pregnant” …one more time…i was going to scream at the poor individual who shared it.

and good god, did i feel guilty. so guilty. because i let my pain actually diminish, if not eclipse, my joy for another friend’s pregnancy, for other friends’ children, for, actually, everyone alive on the goddamn planet because somebody gave birth to them. how awful. who wants to hang out with the mean and bitter infertile girl?

when we first arrived in arizona, i couldn’t even look directly at baby nexus. when she was brought into a room, everyone turned their gaze to her. i mean, she is a gorgeous baby. and exciting! What is more fun than waiting and watching to see how a miraculous little creature like that will react to you? smile? burp? giggle? it is all delicious. but i couldn’t look.

i quickly covered the fact that yes, we were still trying, and no, the medications weren’t working, so we are on to the next thing. i didn’t create a conversation that left room for anyone to contribute. it felt like an elephant in the room but it was my elephant, only i could see it. and it was annoying! it made me feel isolated and anxious around my dearest friends. while we were there, i also started taking clomed at 200 mg. i had an upset stomach and couldn’t escape a wierd jittery sensation. i felt like i was going to crawl out of my skin.

but by our last night there, i had held nexus. i had smiled at her and meant it. i loved her and pax-simply loved them without bitterness. they made me laugh. i made progress.

our last night, while dan got his tattoo, despite my fear and resistance, i talked about it all with tina. she didn’t say any of the things that i hate to hear. she just listened. and then she started to cry and told me that she is angry, too.

i could have lived in that moment of solidarity forever. it was very healing. i really need more of it, and the only way to get it is to keep sharing. even though it is hard.

and trying. future-baby is not a lost cause, even though sometimes it feels like it. i have been doing the home test-kit the past 10 days to no avail, but there are at least 10 days to go. hell, i might just test-kit my way into the next cycle just to be thorough. :)

i have an appointment with the fertility nurse next week. dan is going to have his sperm checked. i opened up to my coworker and it turns out her husband is an acupuncturist who treats infertility and she gave me the name of a highly recommended naturopath who also specializes in infertility and female hormones. i'll meet with her in february. and life goes on. dan and i are happy and have so much fun together it is probably disgusting. we just ooze love.

and the baby shower? it was good. :) i was truly happy to be there and truly happy for her and her family and i can’t wait to meet the lil’ guy. (xoxo, mel) and of course i enjoyed every moment of putting together her gift, because really, i like giving gifts. a lot.

we found her the elephant that was on her online registry but sold out (thank you, anthropologie) and gave her a nice little stockpile of onesies, four for nb, 0-3, and 3-6 each. thank you, target, for making a sweet and simple alternative to blue for a boy. :)