insert sorrowful tom waits song here:

hobez is gone. he ran away. he slipped out in the middle of the night and we don't know where he is. i don't know what he is doing, if he is safe, if he is having the time of his life, if he was hit by a car, met a best friend, or got in a fight with a super-freaky cat (in which he would have no chance because he has no front claws). i don't know if he has caught and killed prey, unless he brings them to our door, which i heard that cats do. but hobbes has never been an outdoor cat, so i have no idea. 7 years together, and he has never lived outdoors. will his instincts kick in? will he survive and thrive?

dan and i put food outside the front and back doors, walk and search for him every day, and today dan put up posters at the mailboxes and vet clinics. he used the photo i posted on this blog and he even laminated them so that rain wouldn't ruin them. dan is so sweet.

i can think of very few times that i have felt so powerless. especially in regards to another being's life. i find myself doing anything and everything i can to distract myself from thinking about him. his pink nose. the tufts of white hair between his toes. that gorgeous enormous belly he loves to show off when he's laying on his back. that soft but obnxious meow when he greets me. the soft padding at the door when he wants in and out. the clink of the food dish against the wall when he's really eating like a major pig.

i just hope he comes back. i hope he finds his way back, or that someone finds him and calls us.

i've been unable to maintain a good relationship with rocco. this might sound weird, but since hobbes has gone missing, i want nothing to do with rocco. i don't want to talk to him, play with him, and least of all cuddle with him. i feel guilty.