I am writing our story in two parts. The first part is about labor and delivery and the second part is about our experience with Raine in the NICU until he came home three days later.
***
The first 24 hours after Raine's birth were such a joy. We ooohed and aaahhhed A LOT. :) Giddy with happiness, we sent text messages and made Facebook updates about Raine. Dan and my mom called family members. I was fiercely hungry. In fact, the first thing I did after he was born was order a hamburger! LOL. Believe me, I took full advantage of the fact that I could order any food to my room at anytime. We also had a cooler full of fresh fruit and snacks (the hospital didn't provide meals for my family members) as well as a dozen giant oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from Grand Central Bakery!
Raine had his first visitor, Gayle, who was also helping with transporting my mom back and forth between the hospital and our apartment. The following day he had two more visitors, Melissa and Lorri. All the hot ladies wanted to meet him...!!! :)
Friday afternoon, we got a visit from the pediatrician. An ultrasound of Raine's kidneys revealed his ureters and kidneys were still swollen. They did not know the cause and therefore wanted to admit him to the NICU for safety and observation. He needed a catheter and would have a dye test to check for obstructions. He was put on antibiotics immediately in case he got a urinary tract infection that could further harm the kidneys.
I can't even begin to tell you how sad it was to have them take him out of our room. Nothing prepares you for that separation, and especially for the time ahead when you have to leave the hospital without your baby. I cried a little after he left the room and then decided I wasn't going to get more upset than that. Dan also felt sad and powerless to help his little boy. I think he called his father and talked to him while I took a nap. There was nothing we could do but hope that the matter would be resolved quickly and Raine wouldn't have to stay long.
Getting to him seemed to take forever. When he was awake and ready to eat, the NICU nurse would call our nurse and she would notify us. I'd fly out of the bed, throw on a robe, and anxiously wait as she wheeled me through the halls. I would literally tremble with anticipation and anxiety. He was several floors down and we had to take two different sets of elevators. Once we reached the NICU, it was policy to wash our hands at big sinks at the entrance. The smell of antiseptic soap became comforting to me because it was associated with Raine. I think he even acquired the smell from our hands. I don't remember why, but Raine didn't have his own room. He was at the very end of the hall in an empty great room. There was a set of twins sleeping in an area to the left of the entrance and then back in the far corner, all alone, was Raine's bed. I nearly cried at how lonely it seemed the first time we saw him!
We could pick him up and hold him, but we had to be careful of his cords. They brought me a rocking chair and I was able to nurse him. He was also supplemented formula, so Dan had feeding time with him, too. Giving him formula was not something we had planned on (we wanted me to breastfeed him exclusively) but by the second night it was crucial to get him more fluids. The specialist reviewing his case agreed that if his creatinine levels (found in blood tests and used to indicate kidney function) were good, he would be able to go home as long as he stayed on the antibiotic. They also wanted to see a good amount of urine passing, and our nurse advised us to agree to formula in the night to get that result. Coordinating my breastfeeding visits was difficult and our time together was not always productive because Raine might choose to sleep instead. ;-)
I was discharged Saturday and Dan and I packed up and drove home. We were exhausted and overwhelmed so we planned to nap, eat, and return at night to visit and feed him. I think that plan enabled me to not be too emotional about leaving Raine behind in the NICU. It just felt like we were returning to our room on the 6th floor. I will never forget the drive back to the hospital later that night. I kept seeing his little face in my mind's eye and it was accompanied by such an incredible feeling of love and longing. It was utterly distracting. I suppose I could compare it to falling in love with someone and you can't stop thinking about them, and each thought of them brings a rush of excitement. This little creature was such a tiny new part of my life but already could move mountains in my innermost being.
We returned Sunday with a change of clothes for Raine in case he was able to go home. Because his dye test showed no obstructions and his creatinine level was good, his specialist discharged him Sunday afternoon. What a celebration! Our nurses were as hopeful as us and had everything ready for us ahead of time. We were able to put him in his little "going home" outfit and buckle his tiny little body into the car seat for the first time. :-) As we left, we passed so many little babies with their parents and I began to cry because I was so happy to be taking him home and yet so sad that there were so many families who remained (for who knows how long). I felt so. very. lucky.
*Of course, I am writing this two and a half months later (holy moly!), so I can give you an update on his condition...
Raine has had another renal and bladder ultrasound, followed by a renal MAG3 scan at Doernbecker's Childrens Hospital in Portland, and we have met with his specialist and pediatrician. "Hydronephrosis" is what they call his swollen kidneys, and it is usually caused by structural abnormalities of the junctions between the kidney, ureter, and bladder that occurs during fetal development (Raine's specialist said that his would have developed as early as 8 weeks in utero!) Because they have found no obstructions and no reflux, Raine's official diagnosis is Hydronephrosis and Non-Refluxing, Non-Obstructed Bilateral Megaureter. Which basically means, "everything is dilated but we don't know why." LOL.
Of course I don't like the idea that his kidneys and ureters are dilated and I fear that it could eventually cause permanent damage, but there is no reason to suspect that now. His kidneys function completely normally and his specialist said that over the next three years there is a 1 in 5 chance that his condition will get worse. It is strange that this is something he will "grow out of," but that seems to be the case. He will have semi-regular ultrasounds to monitor everything, but other than that, there is nothing to be done and nothing to really worry about at this point!
Raine had his first visitor, Gayle, who was also helping with transporting my mom back and forth between the hospital and our apartment. The following day he had two more visitors, Melissa and Lorri. All the hot ladies wanted to meet him...!!! :)
Friday afternoon, we got a visit from the pediatrician. An ultrasound of Raine's kidneys revealed his ureters and kidneys were still swollen. They did not know the cause and therefore wanted to admit him to the NICU for safety and observation. He needed a catheter and would have a dye test to check for obstructions. He was put on antibiotics immediately in case he got a urinary tract infection that could further harm the kidneys.
I can't even begin to tell you how sad it was to have them take him out of our room. Nothing prepares you for that separation, and especially for the time ahead when you have to leave the hospital without your baby. I cried a little after he left the room and then decided I wasn't going to get more upset than that. Dan also felt sad and powerless to help his little boy. I think he called his father and talked to him while I took a nap. There was nothing we could do but hope that the matter would be resolved quickly and Raine wouldn't have to stay long.
Getting to him seemed to take forever. When he was awake and ready to eat, the NICU nurse would call our nurse and she would notify us. I'd fly out of the bed, throw on a robe, and anxiously wait as she wheeled me through the halls. I would literally tremble with anticipation and anxiety. He was several floors down and we had to take two different sets of elevators. Once we reached the NICU, it was policy to wash our hands at big sinks at the entrance. The smell of antiseptic soap became comforting to me because it was associated with Raine. I think he even acquired the smell from our hands. I don't remember why, but Raine didn't have his own room. He was at the very end of the hall in an empty great room. There was a set of twins sleeping in an area to the left of the entrance and then back in the far corner, all alone, was Raine's bed. I nearly cried at how lonely it seemed the first time we saw him!
We could pick him up and hold him, but we had to be careful of his cords. They brought me a rocking chair and I was able to nurse him. He was also supplemented formula, so Dan had feeding time with him, too. Giving him formula was not something we had planned on (we wanted me to breastfeed him exclusively) but by the second night it was crucial to get him more fluids. The specialist reviewing his case agreed that if his creatinine levels (found in blood tests and used to indicate kidney function) were good, he would be able to go home as long as he stayed on the antibiotic. They also wanted to see a good amount of urine passing, and our nurse advised us to agree to formula in the night to get that result. Coordinating my breastfeeding visits was difficult and our time together was not always productive because Raine might choose to sleep instead. ;-)
I was discharged Saturday and Dan and I packed up and drove home. We were exhausted and overwhelmed so we planned to nap, eat, and return at night to visit and feed him. I think that plan enabled me to not be too emotional about leaving Raine behind in the NICU. It just felt like we were returning to our room on the 6th floor. I will never forget the drive back to the hospital later that night. I kept seeing his little face in my mind's eye and it was accompanied by such an incredible feeling of love and longing. It was utterly distracting. I suppose I could compare it to falling in love with someone and you can't stop thinking about them, and each thought of them brings a rush of excitement. This little creature was such a tiny new part of my life but already could move mountains in my innermost being.
We returned Sunday with a change of clothes for Raine in case he was able to go home. Because his dye test showed no obstructions and his creatinine level was good, his specialist discharged him Sunday afternoon. What a celebration! Our nurses were as hopeful as us and had everything ready for us ahead of time. We were able to put him in his little "going home" outfit and buckle his tiny little body into the car seat for the first time. :-) As we left, we passed so many little babies with their parents and I began to cry because I was so happy to be taking him home and yet so sad that there were so many families who remained (for who knows how long). I felt so. very. lucky.
*Of course, I am writing this two and a half months later (holy moly!), so I can give you an update on his condition...
Raine has had another renal and bladder ultrasound, followed by a renal MAG3 scan at Doernbecker's Childrens Hospital in Portland, and we have met with his specialist and pediatrician. "Hydronephrosis" is what they call his swollen kidneys, and it is usually caused by structural abnormalities of the junctions between the kidney, ureter, and bladder that occurs during fetal development (Raine's specialist said that his would have developed as early as 8 weeks in utero!) Because they have found no obstructions and no reflux, Raine's official diagnosis is Hydronephrosis and Non-Refluxing, Non-Obstructed Bilateral Megaureter. Which basically means, "everything is dilated but we don't know why." LOL.
Of course I don't like the idea that his kidneys and ureters are dilated and I fear that it could eventually cause permanent damage, but there is no reason to suspect that now. His kidneys function completely normally and his specialist said that over the next three years there is a 1 in 5 chance that his condition will get worse. It is strange that this is something he will "grow out of," but that seems to be the case. He will have semi-regular ultrasounds to monitor everything, but other than that, there is nothing to be done and nothing to really worry about at this point!
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