At My Desk: Health Insurance

Listening to: NCAA coverage

Stack of books: Carnet de Voyage by Craig Thompson, From Dawn to Decadence by Jacques Barzun, The Quiet American by Graham Greene.

Pile: Daily planner, magazines, Prescott College Master of Arts catalog.

Miscellaneous: Triscuits, NOMC chronic pain support group pamphlet, scissors, beer.

The boys: Rocco sleeping on the chair, Hobbes making the rounds, Dan watching the game.

Thinking about: Two weeks ago my doctor put me on a new anti-depressant, Cymbalta. It's a young drug...Only three years old and therefore has no generic form yet. I took the introductory pack she gave me and then went to get my prescription filled before I left for Illinois. My insurance denied the medication coverage until I tried 4 alternative drugs that have generic forms. (Had I actually taken that route, it would have taken at least six months to try those and see if they were working effectively--no matter my doctor's opinion that this is the best drug for me to try at this point.) It took a week for the pharmacist, my doctor, and the insurance company to work it out. (My doctor submitted information claiming I had already tried those drugs and need to be on Cymbalta.) This was very frustrating. Isn't it my doctor's job to determine what I take? Who is the insurance company to prescribe my meds? I am not a real person to them, just another policy holder. They are pinching their pennies (rightfully so, given the economic climate in Oregon and the threats to subsidized state health care)...Yet, the snafu left this policy holder dangerously dropping off a medication and helpless for over a week. I don't know how I got through my trip feeling so unstable...I did a lot of crying and sleeping in between seeing friends and helping with the wedding. Dan picked up the medication today, and even with the final approved copay, we're going to shell out $75 every month until we can see how the drug is working....and then go from there. Of course I want the drug to work. I want to feel better. At the same time, I don't. I don't want such an expensive drug. This experience has made me very angry, yet I don't know who to blame. Myself? I fail to find a secure job with a company that can offer me health care. The insurance company? They are doing their best to offer coverage for everyone else like me in this state who is denied coverage by regular insurance companies. We already have pre-existing health conditions and I'm sure they are all very costly to treat. Those insurance companies denying me? Politicians? Investors? What can I even do to make this better for myself or other people like me? I feel very helpless.

Tell me who to write, who to call, what house to egg.