About Pain

I woke up okay today. Raine was babbling in his crib and waiting for me with a giant poopy diaper sweet grin. We watched some Sprout, played with toys, had some milk, bread, and peaches. I dressed him up in orange and navy (no game today but still...!) including a super cute cardigan, jeans, and his sweet little shoes I'm trying to get him to wear (the days are starting off chilly now and I am realizing autumn is quite near and this little guy is going to have to start covering up those cute toes of his!) Dan was fishing so we had the morning to ourselves. We went to Starbucks and visited my friend Shane and then to Target for some sundries. I thought Raine would be ready for his morning nap by the time we got home, but he was more interested in playing again.

I was doing a really good job of keeping up with him.

I was feeling pretty good.

I managed the steps to our apartment, the getting in and out of the car, the carrying him around in the store once he decided he was NOT going to ride in the shopping cart without being Fussy McFusserson. I crawled around and chased him while he played at home. I pulled linens to do laundry and picked up around the living room.

I was really doing great despite some sore muscles from yoga practice yesterday (I returned to Escape this week after what ended up being a 2 month hiatus!) and only 5 hours of sleep (I was up until 2 reading an entire blog. 171 posts over the past two years. Needless to say I was hooked. More about that another time!) Once Raine finally took his nap, I put a movie in (I had to take advantage of Dan's absence and watch something that 1.) was NOT football and 2.) was totally something he would scoff at watching, like, a silly romantic comedy kinda thing) and worked on laundry. By the time Dan came home at noon, I was tired. I finished my movie and then curled up in our bed and took a quick nap. I had plans to run errands while Dan watched Raine in the afternoon. I wanted to take a nice long walk with my boys. Maybe even pull out my old yoga DVD and dust it off for a quick 30 minute session at home. I figured a nice little nap would help keep me energized.

But after I woke up, things changed.

My legs hurt. More specifically, my left leg hurt incredibly bad from my hip to my big toe. Every muscle fiber ached and it throbbed in the thigh and calf. I surfed the internet, played with Raine after he woke up, and FaceTimed my  mom. I tried to wait the pain out. It wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. So I let each of my goals for the day slowly slip away.

I ended up sitting in a hot bath to see if the hot water could numb the sharpness.

It didn't.

I felt my hope dwindle.

My mood turned sour.


I put on a pretty good face the rest of the day (I think? Dan!?) We hit up NSM for this week's groceries and I organized the kitchen once we got home. I still finished the laundry. I wasn't able to cook dinner like I had hoped. Dan is looking into finding me some of those fancy gel mats to stand on. That will help.

But really, today the pain stole my joy. And a bit of my optimism as usual.

It makes all of my goals from tiny little things like making dinner to great big huge things like working a full time job or improving my health overall to have another baby or just live and serve my family well ... It makes those things seem like a dark and unsurmountable mountain.

And that is it.

That's all I have to say about it. About pain.

It just ruins things. A great big, fat, ruiner. That's what pain is.

The Elimination Diet

Morning smoothie

Fish, wild rice, shallots

Parsnip fries with thyme, rosemary, salt, & pepper

Effective Monday morning, 8:00 pst, I began an elimination diet. My typical breakfast (a soy chai latte and a bowl of plain instant oatmeal) was replaced with a hearty green smoothie (made with avocado, kale, chard, cherries, blueberries, and ginger).

I have been thinking about doing this diet for a while but couldn't seem to muster up the motivation, and probably, the belief in myself that I could do it. It is NOT for amateurs! LOL. In a recent post, I mentioned that I had removed dairy, soy, and peanuts from my diet to see if these foods have anything to do with my Fibromyalgia pain. I kind of got the idea from Sarah. It turns out little Anna has food sensitivities/allergies that created chronic pain in her body, just like the pain I had at her age--and still do. I also saw a new doctor and he suggested eliminating gluten because of stomach pain that I have been having for the past two months. My blood work came back mostly OK and the Celiac test was negative, so he diagnosed with me IBS (he literally told me it was just because he didn't know what was wrong and that is a nice umbrella diagnosis for these types of things--much like Fibro. Ugh.) Often testing negative for Celiac happens even if there is an intolerance or sensitivity, so he said a gluten-free diet was worth a shot.

I figured if I was going to stay off peanuts, dairy, and soy, and also eliminate gluten, I might as well buckle down and do a complete elimination diet. I had read about them online and when I researched them further, I kind of felt overwhelmed. I called up Sarah for advice and Ally for a pep talk. Sunday I chose a particular diet, outlined by The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen, tweaked it a little because I am breastfeeding,* and made my grocery list and meal plans. I promised Dan that I would make my snacks and smoothies and avoid depending on him too much AND try my best not to be a crazy moody crabby lady.

I am allowed ONLY the following foods:

-brown rice/wild rice
-quinoa
-amaranth
-teff
-pears
-peaches, nectarines
-plums, apricots
-berries (except strawberries)
-cherries
-grapes
-figs (dried and fresh)
-mango
-kale, collard greens
-lettuce, spinach
-dandelion greens
-bok choy, cabbage
-parsley, cilantro
-sprouts (all types)
-brussels sprouts
-broccoli, cauliflower
-beets, carrots, parsnips
-winter squash (all types)
-yams and sweet potatoes
-avocados
-onions, garlic, and ginger
-sunflower and pumpkin seeds
-sunflower and pumpkin seed butters
-pine nuts
-mung beans, adzuki beans, lentils
-wakame seaweed, kombu seaweed
-nori seaweed, dulse flakes
-fresh herbs
-coconut milk
-coconut oil and olive oil
-kudzu, arrowroot (be sure its GF)
-guar gum (in small amounts)
-agave nectar and maple syrup
*-non-processed meats

I am NOT allowed:


-gluten grains and their flours
-gluten-free grains and flours
-potatoes, tomatoes, peppers
-oats
-yeast
-dairy
-eggs
-chocolate
-soy products
-corn
-mushrooms
-pineapple, papaya
-citrus fruits
-kiwi fruit, bananas, apples
-strawberries
-all tree nuts and peanuts
-all beans (except for mung, lentil, adzuki)
-sesame seeds
-refined sugar
-alcohol
-caffeine

After 14 days I will access how practical it would be to keep going an additional 7-14 days (WLNK recommends 28 days). After that, I will do phases of reintroducing foods such as soy, night shade vegetables, grains, and dairy. Dan is placing his bets on wheat. I have to admit that I kind of don't expect any foods to affect my chronic pain (even with Anna's success!) but I will be able to know definitively and not always wonder....

Anyway, it is the end of day three and I am really curious how this is going to turn out. I hope to have updates maybe every other day to keep track of what I eat, how I feel, and what this experience is like. I can tell you one thing: My savior so far has been Food Should Taste Good's sweet potato chips! ;)