Blasty: Part I Finding Out

This is our baby, who we affectionately refer to as "Blasty." When we discovered we were pregnant, I was about 4 weeks along and Dan learned that the baby was at the stage of being a "blastocycst." Blasty! The photo above was from our first ultra sound when he (or she) was six weeks. His head is at the top of the uterus, with a little lima bean-like body below.

So how did this happen?!? (More importantly, how did I keep it a secret!??! LOL.)

After the future-baby making post on December 11th, we hit a tail-spin. I used an ovulation test kit the first two weeks of the month but we never had a positive. It is hard to even describe how disappointing that was.

On the 16th, I met with the fertility nurse for a consultation required by my insurance company. They follow a series of steps before referring patients outside the network to fertility clinics. She quickly assured me that my doctor planned to refer me right away. However, the final steps I needed to take were: 1) have Dan's paperwork sent to my office and 2) Check my fallopian tubes. First of all, Dan didn't have any paperwork. :) We never had his reproductive capabilities checked! And second, I found it slightly absurd that they wanted to check my tubes. I CAN'T MAKE EGGS. I wasn't interested in my tubes! Besides, they were going to classify the procedure, a standard hysterosalpingography (HSG), as a fertility procedure, so my insurance would only pay half. It was going to cost us about $1000.

$1000 to check my tubes. When we knew I couldn't even make an egg. So that my doctor could refer me to a fertility specialist to address the egg problem, with more expensive and aggressive treatments. No thanks.

And that was it. It was like realizing the road was a dead end. We decided not to do the HSG, but we had Dan get his sperm tested. Of course the sperm were perfect. At that point, the two of us began to see things differently. I was exhausted. Dan wanted me to see what the naturopath had to say and try treatment for at least six months. I was wary of doing anything else to my body and afraid that I couldn't handle it emotionally. I felt like I had already gave so much. I was ready to move onto adoption. I ordered an informational packet from a local agency.

A week after the fertility consultation, on December 23rd, I took a pregnancy test.

When I look back on this, I am struck at the irony. I didn't need to take one. I didn't ovulate, and there was still another 5 days or so that I could start a period on my own. I was just in the habit of ending each cycle by taking one so that I could verify I wasn't pregnant and begin the next round of medicine. Somewhere, deep inside, I must have known. Because there wasn't going to be another round of medicine. We were done!

I left work early that day and spent that afternoon on the couch...I had cramps and was starting to wonder if I was getting a bladder infection. There was some pressure and discomfort, and I had to go to the bathroom all the time. I spent two hours on the phone with Hattie, agonizing about the whole journey and worrying about what to do next with Dan and I in disagreement. After our talk, I ran errands and picked up some stuff at the store, including a test. When I got home, I ran in the bathroom and took it, hardly even paying attention to the results. What I noticed was that it changed right away. I didn't even know what the result meant. Then I read the directions. And I started shaking. Why did I have a positive?

I immediately told Dan to go to the store and buy another test. Buy two or three. Get different brands. Get expensive ones! I thought I had a false positive and I needed to know for sure ASAP. So, off he went. He came back to find me pounding back glasses of water and on the phone with my mom. She called while everything was happening, so I called her back to talk and keep my mind off of what was actually happening. About a half hour later, I had to pee. I ended the call with my mom and returned the bathroom with two tests. One was the same brand and the other was a fancy digital one. After I used them, I walked back to the living room and informed Dan that you aren't supposed to drink a lot of water and then take a test. It can dilute the results. We were probably going to get a negative, but we wouldn't know if it was accurate. Right? This was all crazy! I couldn't stop shaking! I went back to the bathroom and glanced at the tests.

Wow. I'm really pregnant.