I Gradumacated! Part II

The actual ceremony was long and boring. I'm just going to leave it at that. Walking across the stage and accepting my diploma was completely surreal. I spent the past 10 years trying to get to that point. How many times did I give up or want to give up? Innumerable. I never even knew why I was going to school, I just knew I was supposed to. God bless the child who enters university with a firm idea of what they want to study and who they "want to be when they grow up."

I first wrote what felt like an epic for this post, but I think I was pulling in too much outside of my education over the past ten years for my readers to grapple with. My emotional, spiritual, and physical struggles are interwoven into every classroom I sat in, every paper I wrote, every text I read. I am flooded with memories that I can't even begin to explain here, so I don't want to attempt it poorly. What I can say is that I have a foundation built for the rest of my life in the studies of literature, religion, art, history, and the sciences that I value as much as my most cherished relationships and experiences. I have encountered the most inspiring individuals as teachers--intelligent, generous, and passionate, and if only I could be like them...

When I heard the bagpipes begin to play at the close of my graduation ceremony, I got very choked up. By the time I exited the ballroom doors, I walked to the window and stood, taking deep breaths and watching the rose bushes bend slowly in the breeze. Graduates hugged and cheered around me, but it felt quiet. I was crying with such a sense of grief, pride, loneliness, and disbelief. Grief for the loss of the learning that I love, in the university setting; pride for the accomplishment of what I never truly believed I could do; loneliness for the first tremendous moment in my life that my parents were not there to share with me; disbelief that the past ten years of my life had reached a final quiet conclusion.

Though they will certainly never know it, I have to acknowledge the instructors at Goshen College, Columbia College, and Marylhurst University that believed in me or encouraged me in their own way as I studied, and will inspire me for the rest of my life:

David Stark, Columbia College, Art History
Jo-Ann Brant, Goshen College, Religion & Biblical Studies
Ann Hostetler, Goshen College, Literature & Creative Writing
Jay Ponteri, Marylhurst University, Literature & Creative Writing
Ruth Krall, Goshen College, Womens Studies
Marlene Bauer, Marylhurst University, Drawing
Stephanie Robison, Marylhurst University, Sculpture
Cecilia Ranger, SNJM, Marylhurst University, Ethics & Philosophy
Perrin Kerns, Marylhurst University, Literature
Don Blosser, Goshen College, Religion & Biblical Studies
John D. Roth, Goshen College, History
Alexandra Hellenbrand, Goshen College, German
Julie-Anne Poncet, Marylhurst University, Art History

And I have to THANK my darling Allyson, (pictured above) who has known me since I was approximately three and a half, for being there to witness the occasion, along with my beautiful husband, who was the first person I saw come through the doors and be there to hug me!!!!