Hope for the Orphan Fundraiser

I'm going to dream really big right now and imagine that I have hundreds of readers. No, thousands! And I'm going to imagine that most of you live in central Illinois. Now please do me the biggest favor in the world and go to this fundraiser! :)

My dear friends Ross and Amy are in the process of adopting an orphan from Russia and this special event at New Life Christian Church in Morton, tomorrow night at 6 pm, is to help raise money for that process. 

Here are some photos of them that I stole from her Facebook profile... LOL! (If you will remember, Amy is my lovely friend who did Raine's 6 month portraits. She will be ALSO be using proceeds in July from Amy Mulder Photography to raise funds! Hmmm...Need some photos done...??)

Running For Orphans also will use races to raise funds for the adoption & baby Mulder's orphanage in Russia! 

Hotties!

It goes to show how much I LOVE THEM that I will use this photo because it is super cute and shows how adorable they are even though they are Packers fans. Ugh.

They have been waiting to be parents since they were married three years ago and their path to parenthood has not gone smoothly. I'm just going to be honest here: It has SUCKED. Seriously. As Amy and I swapped sad stories as we tried to start our families over the past several years, she swapped more than her fair share. As her friend who loves her greatly, it has made me so sad to see them disappointed over and over again. While Dan and I finally successfully conceived and now have Raine, Ross and Amy are still waiting. I think they have waited long enough!!! However, they are patient little pookers! :) They are currently waiting for approval by the state of Illinois of their adoption home study and related reports, and then they will wait for approval by Russia. The earliest they could possibly get a referral for a child is August, and if by some great miracle that happens right away, I believe that they shouldn't have to keep waiting because of funding.

If I could hop on a plane and fly back for this fundraiser tomorrow, you better believe that I would! I would also purchase ALL OF THE BAKE SALE ITEMS IN ONE FELL SWOOP. ~Ha! I would love to be there even if I had no money to offer just as a supportive friend and cheerleader. (I like to send her texts: GO TEAM MULDER!) I would also love to hear Ross perform because he is so talented and the only time I have had the pleasure was at their wedding.

Anyway, they are not only patient, they are creative and ambitious so they are coming up with lots of ways to raise money for the adoption, but this fundraiser TOMORROW NIGHT is key. So I really wanted to help get the word out even though it is last minute! (And I also say ambitious because not only are they raising money to fund the adoption, they hope to raise a surplus that can be donated to the orphanage from where they will *hopefully someday soon* get their son or daughter.)

So if you are in the greater Peoria area and have the ability to stop by tomorrow night, please go! I will be jealous but forever grateful. 

My Name is Leah and I'm a Sugaraholic

Raine slept tonight from six to ten o clock. He is usually awake in the evening and ready for bed by 9:00. We didn't want to wake him tonight though because he has been sick with thrush and croup. I think his little body needed the rest. We might pay a heavy price for this. A price called Up til 2 am. We shall see. I have Raine until 11:30 tomorrow morning so I don't have to worry about getting us up and out the door early. So right now he is fed and happy, sitting in daddy's lap playing. I was able to eat dinner, talk to my mom and sister, and take a shower without acting like I was trying to break a world record. I have also been trying to write a bit all evening.

So, yes, thrush. Thrush is annoying. To specify, it is a yeast infection of the mouth for Raine and he gives it to me on my breasts by nursing. And then I give it back to him, etc., etc. In my new parent support group at New Seasons, I met a mama who had chronic thrush with her daughter. It was the first meeting and I was a little distracted but I do remember hearing how gosh darn stubborn that bacteria seemed to be. She had tried everything her doctor and her husband (a naturopath) could think of. The only thing she had NOT done yet was change her diet. She was intimidated at trying to cut out yeast/gluten and sugar. After Raine was diagnosed and we started giving him Nystatin four times a day, I started investigating what I could do to help heal my breasts and prevent passing it back and forth with him. The most popular advice I came across was changing my diet. April had a friend who kicked thrush in four days by changing her diet in addition to treating her baby and using vinegar on her breasts after feedings. I have faithfully used vinegar but have not been able to let go of sugar. The past few months I have been so addicted to sweets it is disgusting. I justified my junkie behavior at first by eating oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with flax seeds and brewer's yeast to help support my milk production. I started with great self control and enjoyed 1 cookie a day. But before I knew it, 1 was not enough. And then there was ice cream, fruit, angel food cake, whipped cream, Starbucks drinks, twinkies, Halloween candy, donuts...You name it. This past weekend, Dan baked cookies and it was OUT OF CONTROL. I couldn't stop at 1 or 2 or 3. Or 4 or 5. Tonight, I TOOK COOKIES WITH ME IN THE SHOWER. I sound like an addict, right? So I shouldn't be surprised I can't kick thrush. I have just recently cut out dairy because I wanted to see if it helped reduce Raine's gas pain and spit up. I thought it would be hard but once I found a few substitutes, it is OK. I miss milk, yes. I enjoyed tall glasses of milk with my dinners, Starbucks drinks, and ice cream. It seemed to help me keep my blood sugar stable and gave me calcium. Now I'm taking a vitamin and drinking fortified juice and alternative milks. I think cutting out sugar on top of dairy would be shocking at first (you would be surprised how sugar is present in EVERYTHING...Even my vegetable soup I had for lunch. WTF.) ...but worth it in the end. I've just got to DO it, and I can't seem to motivate myself. Tonight when we checked Raine's mouth after his feeding and giving him his medicine, there were still several very large patches on the inside of both sides of his mouth. Ugh. He has been taking Nystatin for 11 days now! I think we will give it until the 2 week mark and then I'm going to try Primadophilus powder for him and I will absolutely change my diet. And you will have to listen to me explain how the heck I am doing it. Ha! I have also started taking two tablespoons of probiotic acidophilus, a goopy gross base of pre-digested milk solids with something like 20 billion organisms that are "good" bacteria to balance things out.

Any other suggestions???

xoxo,
Leah

Breast Cancer and the Race for the Cure - Can you help Modern Image Studios?

The following letter is from Ryan, the husband of Sarah, one of Leah's dearest friends:

To all my friends and family,

I am writing today about a very serious subject. Sarah felt uncomfortable writing to ask for charitable donations from her friends and family so she asked if I would feel comfortable doing so. I asked what the cause was, and once given the information volunteered immediately. This is a cause that is near and dear to my heart, a cause that you may have been able to ascertain from the subject line of this email. We are talking about the breast. So, within this context, I ask you a simple question...who wouldn't want to be involved in the preservation of the breast and the women who manage and display them. We are talking about the foundations of society. The subject of countless pieces of art, and I am guessing, the crux of the Roman conflict and the inspiration for the majority of Da Vinci's inventions.

I remember once as a young boy finding a brochure on self examinations. This important piece of literature got me through many a trying time, providing comfort on dark nights just knowing that the breasts of the world were being slowly, gently, and thoroughly examined. If it weren't for organizations like the Susan G Komen Foundation, I don't know that this kind of support would have been available. It is my firm belief that we, as humans, must contribute anything we can to the protection of the breast. In fact, I cant be more firm in stating that we all must chip in to support breasts. What would this world be like without breasts?

As you may or may not know, Modern Image Studios, Sarah's company, gives a tremendous amount of support to the Susan G Komen Foundation, as a Gold Level Sponsor and has also donated their time as the exclusive Photographer and Videographer for the Chicago Race for the Cure. This year, the team has taken on a personal goal to try and raise an additional $5,000 beyond the $10K Gold Sponsorship. We have had a slow start, but it's not too late. Just a thought but, maybe the key is actually asking for support?! Anyway, I would like to think that every one of you has a few dollars to throw in to support the research and development of a cure for breast cancer. I promise I will only ask once a year, unless of course I need your help.

In all seriousness, I would miss the breasts, but I couldn't live without the women attached to them. Lets do what we can to help find a cure.

Here is how to participate. Go to the Modern Image Studios Team Page. Here you will be able to click on a team member name (right now we only have a few team members but Sarah and Susan are listed). You can make a secure donation by credit card right on the sight which goes directly to the foundation (you will receive an email receipt for tax purposes too). If you could help me out and send a request to any of your friends, collegues, or family that might be interested in a small donation I would greatly appreciate that as well.

Thanks again for your generous support!

Ryan Christensen (Sarah's Assistant and Husband)

After a few days of shock, I wanted to acknowledge the tragic accident that happened last weekend to blogger, Stephanie Clark Nielson. She was in a private plane crash with her husband, Christian, and his flight instructor, Doug Kinneard, last weekend in Arizona. Details informing readers of the accident, Stephanie and Christian's critical condition, and the death of the flight instructor have been shared by her sister, Jane, on NieNie Dialogues.

I do not know Stephanie, who affectionately goes by "Nie," but happened upon her bright and lively blog one day over a year ago and have been in love with her/it ever since. What rings true on her pages are beauty, livelihood, generosity, creativity, and faith. I truly have learned so much and felt so inspired by her daily posts...I'm at a loss of words to say what it feels like to know she is struggling. How strange to feel so deeply for someone you've never met? I've officially been changed by the internet forever. Stephanie's sister, Jane, continues to inform the devoted readers of Nie's blog via her own blog, cjanerun. Stephanie and Christian have been removed from critical condition but are still fragile. Their four children are staying with family...And I can't even finish writing this without crying.

Sigh. I couldn't even title this post.

I have added a button on the sidebar for anyone who would like to donate to help with medical costs and this transitional period for Nie, her husband, and their children. If you have been touched by her life like I have, I'm sure you won't hesitate.

xoxo,
leah

Turnips

For the most part, Dan and I try new recipes a lot. We are always searching for a new "favorite" to add to our weekly menu. Last week's favorite was Curried Potato and Vegetable Soup, which I have to give Dan major props for cooking because it included (eek!) summer squash. I convinced him that he would never know it was in the soup because of the heavy curry seasoning, and I was right. Despite the fact that the soup had 1 of his most detested foods (others include sweet potatoes and eggplant), it was YUMMY and we plan to make it again.

This week, we were both willing to try a vegetable we'd never had--turnips. Dan put a Scalloped Turnip Bake together and while it cooked in the oven, we had wonderful, chunky salads and a bottle of red wine. As the smell of the bake permeated the whole apartment, our mouths watered. I became even more excited with anticipation when we looked up turnips on Wikipedia to find out their nutritional value: "Turnips are high in Dietary Fiber, Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium, Potassium and Copper." How could something so nutritional smell so good? Well, as it turns out: it doesn't. What smelled good was the butter, cream, and onions. Neither Dan nor I could finish the scalloped turnip bake. Those turnips had such a bite to them that I felt the back of my throat gag as I tried to finish my plate. Dan tried coating his in parmesan cheese, to no avail. We were both totally dissappointed, but Rocco loved it. But Rocco also eats poop.

I have to wonder, Did we have bad turnips? Do they truly taste that bad? Does anyone have a better recipe that is more complimentary to that bitter taste? I'm not sure if we are willing to try them again, but for their nutritional value, I feel we should give it a shot. Any suggestions? Or does everyone else loathe turnips, too?

Summer of the Memoir

Dan recently mentioned that his two goals for this summer were 1.) Play the drums in Rock Band on level medium and 2.) catch a steelhead. I have decided that I would like to 1.) complete a puzzle and 2.) Read a variety of memoirs. Does anyone have any suggestions? So far I've picked out:

Musings on My Relationship With Illinois

Sometime shortly after Dan and I had brazenly moved across the country and set up our newlywed domicile in Portland, I began an intense internal dialogue regarding my love/hate relationship with Illinois, and to be more specific, Washington, Illinois, a small town outside the "big city" of Peoria, where I spent twenty-four years of my life, and where to this day, remains my immediate family and several beloved friends. On the one hand, it's where I grew up and holds myriad memories, including some very difficult times where I forged a connection with my surroundings, my heritage, and my self-identity. It is why I have a tattoo of corn on my arm. And consider family--All of our immediate family has built their nests in Illinois, not far from many of our relatives. Dan's entire kinship (save one genius cousin at Berkeley) splatters the greater Chicago area, and many of my aunts, uncles, and cousins reside in Illinois. We have great relationships with our families and both come from homes with fun traditions and tremendous love and support. On the other hand, we both wanted to get away--try something new, see a new part of the world. Chicago was a little too big, cold, and stinky. Washington was too small, cold, and boring. We found a place that was just the right size, temperature, and consistency. We made good friends, had good jobs, our marriage flourished. But Portland and Illinois are 2,000 miles apart. And we aren't rich. We are lucky to make a visit once a year.

My internal dialogue reached a peak one sunny afternoon as we took a lazy drive through the country up to Mt. Hood. As we passed rolling hills dotted with complacent horses and cows and dense patches of evergreens, I asked myself Why am I not content here? I decided that I would return to my small hometown, regardless of the qualities that made me flee--a lack of culture, vibrancy, diversity, opportunity--because I owed it to Washington. I thought, How can a place change if everyone leaves? I felt a burst of motivation and a combination of sentimentality, creativity, and entrepreneurship. I would return to contribute to the greater Peoria area as an active and progressive consumer, small-business owner, alumni, community member...Combined with an intermittent longing to be "home" for Christmas, spending shopping afternoons with my best friend, or taking Dan to my Aunt and Uncle's cabin at Spring Lake State Park for lazy days of fishing and reading, this newfound direction back to Central Illinois felt gratifyingly sound. I could justify cold winters and small town culture shock if I felt a dramatic sense of duty and fulfillment. Besides, as long as Dan was with me, I'd be happy wherever I was.

However, pros and cons still racked my brain constantly, almost unconsciously. Every time we tried a new restaurant or pub, the taste of gourmet vegan dishes and seasonal craft brews tugged at me. Every time I hopped on the streetcar, picked up a Willamette Weekly, met a friend for cocktails, saw a show at Doug Fir, or discovered a new locally-owned boutique, I relished in the creative bliss of Metropolitan living, and couldn't imagine giving it up! And how much harder to give up such a unique Metropolitan as Portland--small, nestled in Pines, rivers, and mountains, dog-friendly, and home to the Oregon Brewers Festival?

So the battle went back and forth. The last visit I spent in Illinois, last fall, I felt certain we would return to watch our new nephew grow up, spend summers at Apple Canyon with Dan's family, settle down and buy a house--the major bargaining chip the greater Peoria area had to offer--given its incomparable real estate prices. I could picture it: Our very own bungalow with a cozy kitchen, big yard for more dogs, a cute little nursery. I just had to return to Portland to finish schooling, and then we'd be back! Right?

Wrong. Because when I returned, and I returned "home," I was reminded that "home" is not a place where I was born, where I went to school, where I had my first job, or even where my parents are. The day I married Dan, "home" became Dan. My first priority is Dan, not friends, family, or hometowns. And I realized that my inner arguments had conveniently kept Dan's input out of the equation. What did Dan really want? How could I expect my husband to feel the same sentimentality and sense of purpose for a town he never knew and that offered him very little in terms of his needs and passions? I felt guilty and began researching aspects of Washington/Peoria that would appeal to Dan; nursing programs, state parks, real estate costs, organic produce and farmer's markets, friends living nearby.

Not long after, while we celebrated a friend's birthday at an Irish Pub downtown, I let slip plans to move back. Dan remarked firmly his dissent. Tears stung my eyes at his obstinacy, and I refused to talk about it. The rest of the meal was an awkward attempt at not really talking to each other and pretending we weren't having a DOMESTIC DISPUTE. I didn't want the night to end--as soon as we were alone, I would hear the words I didn't want him to say: He doesn't want to move back. Specifically, he doesn't want to move back to Washington. I couldn't be happy there without him, I couldn't be happy anywhere without him. My dreamy, nostalgic, and dutiful bubble burst.

After traveling back to Illinois to meet Logan, see our friends and family, and celebrate special occasions, we've come "home" again, and our path is clear: we will compromise. With both of us on board, we are exploring the possibilities of moving geographically closer to Illinois (as in, we're broke, but we can still go see our family and friends) while considering our central needs:

• Locations for nursing programs (particularly for second degree candidates)
  
• Milder climate than Chicago
  
• Access to outdoor sports and art museums, farmers markets, etc.
  
• Real estate prices lower than Chicago/Portland
  
• Job opportunities in our areas of interest: nursing, landscaping, brewing, writing, publishing, retail
  

I asked Dan, if we moved somewhere new, and someone asked, "Where are you from?" What would you say, Illinois or Oregon? He replied, "I moved here from Portland but I'm originally from Illinois."

Does anyone have any recommendations where we can go from here?

Memorial Penny Jar

We haven't been able to do much posting lately because the magical elves inside our computer have not only tampered with our internet connection, they've gone ahead and glitched up the whole damn thing, sending us to the Apple genius bar several times over the weekend for technical support. At this point, it appears to be congestive heart failure, and we have an unknown amount of time left...

Our dear, little laptop, (pictured above) is considered vintage at the ripe age of six, and Apple no longer makes the parts that we would need to perform a transplant (as if we could afford such a procedure.) I truly believe that the little guy is holding onto his last breath to see me through to my undergraduate degree, but it could really be any day now. Dan performed an emergency blood transfusion, saving all of my writing, our photos, and music to an external hard drive--but sadly, we've lost access to multiple programs, including (oh the devastation!)...freecell.

We have only short bits of time with him each night as he moves in and out of consciousness, and we can only hope that we have made his life full of happiness as he has served us so graciously. A penny jar will be set up as a memorial fund; please give freely. Proceeds will go to acquiring a donor--most likely a mismatched monitor, tower, and keyboard from the antique technological vaults of Dan's company. Then, when I sell my script or Dan buys a winning lotto ticket, we'll get ourselves a fancy new iMac, and name her Jezebel, because we love that name and we figure we can't name an actual child that anyway.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I didn't make it to the library today until, um, 4? Because I slept in until, um, 2? I have such a generous husband. Because the library closes at 6 on Saturdays, I had to move to Starbucks, which enabled me to get in a mere four hours of writing for my rough draft on my senior thesis ("The Craft of Sound and Image in Denise Levertov's Poetry.") A whole other mistake was the consumption of two mocha lattes. This explains why I am awake at 2:30 a.m. Here I sit, at the laptop in the living room, with Hobbes asleep in my lap and the sound of Dan's snoring drifting down the hallway. The thump of the music at the neighbor's apartment has subsided and instead of working on my papers, I decided to redesign this blog. While I was digging through our image library for a new ::kiss:: photo, I found this shot taken during my first year at Marylhurst. It must have been spring, so that would have been just about three years ago. Wow. And now I am two weeks away from finishing. I can't help but feel nostalgic in addition to my excitement. How I have adored that campus! It's so beautiful and quiet. How I have learned so much and met wonderful people! I'm glad that I will be around next semester while I help with the literary journal, M Review. (No class or credits, just the experience of being student editor!) So far, it has only occupied me with busy work--organizing the hundreds of submissions and passing them onto staff members to review. In a few weeks I will begin reading and assessing what student work I would like to accept. In the meantime, I'm also working on a submission myself, for a Writer's Institute in New York. The English faculty at MU nominated me for a full scholarship to their 2-4 week summer program, so I'm giving it a go and applying. Dan has been helping me select material to submit, and I can't help but hope that I will get accepted! I guess this is what I have to get used to now that I'm graduating...The post-collegiate life of craft / submit / get denied / try again / craft / submit / etc. Of course, I already have my mind on many other projects that I am eager to get started on once I have more free time. FMS Nest has been progressing ever-so-slowly, and I'd like to devote more time to that this spring. What I have noticed as I began writing the blog is that at this point, it is limited to my experience with fibromyalgia. There is so much more I want write about in terms of my health, but what do I do? Start a blog for each of my conditions? Is there a way to combine writing about fibromyalgia, depression, pcos, et al., on this site? Or should I change the name of FMS Nest and incorporate all of my health issues, thoughts, and experiences on that? Does anyone have any ideas? Help! Well, I just heard the paper boy. I guess I better sign off and try to go to sleep before I get started on this project and stay up the rest of the night. Hope you enjoy the new design and features. There'll be more to come...! xoxo

Dough Pinch

Dan took away my credit cards. And we both have to have an emergency on our hands in order to use them. (That qualifies as something greater than: Our favorite band is playing the Crystal Ballroom! or I want a new shower curtain! or Let's take a trip...!) Well, because we are exposed now as credit card-mongers, I have to ask.... How do people do it? How do normal people NOT use credit cards or NOT get into credit card debt? And if they have squished you, how do you pay them off without selling your soul? Just wondering.... I should go now because Rocco is frantically fighting off the vacuum.

I'm Addicted to School

This week I begin classes for the first term of my last year at Marylhurst. I am now officially 15 credits away from my degree in English Literature & Writing. (What do I plan to do with it when I am done? Write.)

To make things interesting, I have also begun the daunting, expensive, and tedious task of working on graduate school applications. and I will be sharing details about this process along the way. Oh yes. Graduate school. Because, apparently, I am NOT satisfied with already spending 10 years on schooling. I WANT MORE.

Applying really is a major undertaking, which is why I spread out my final credits at MU over two terms--so that I would have time for this. And serving as managing editor of M Review this year. (But that's another story.)

Anyway, here is the preliminary list of schools from which I have sought information and application packets, and let me know if you have any other suggestions because this is only 7 and I need between 8 and 10 to increase my chances!!!

Low Residency Schools (Only required to attend 10-12 days seminars on campus twice a year, while the rest of the work is done in correspondence with an adviser from home.)
Antioch University (L.A.)
Bennington College (Vermont)
Goddard College (Port Townshend, WA campus)
Naropa University (Colorado)
Spalding University (Louisville)
Warren Wilson College (North Carolina)

Full Residency (And this means we'd be packing our things and moving back across the country....)
University of Iowa (Iowa Writers' Workshop...Only the most prestigious program IN the country!)

Help! Modern Bird Stuff!

One of the things I love about our porch is watching the birds. For a while I haven't seen any around because our birdhouse broke. It was a plain wooden one that held seed that I bought at Target & made Dan assemble. I think part of the proceeds went to St. Jude Hospital for kids. Anyway, I have been on the hunt for the perfect birdhouse and/or feeders in a reasonable price range. The latter immediately disqualifies all of the cool ones featured in Dwell as well as Chicago Apartment Therapy's suggestions. Apparently, if you want something modern for birds to sit in or eat from, it will cost you an arm and a leg. (Like this one at Target --still--$72!!) Lo and behold, I found a reasonably priced interesting looking feeder (pictured above), but I can't remember what store it was in online!!! Help! Has anyone else ever seen these anywhere?

Also, I've tracked down the designer of these little birdhouses (pictured above) that I think retail under $30, but can't remember what store I saw them in! Dan was with me...Maybe he doesn't want me to remember!?! :) Help! Has anyone seen these?